00:00:11
Raquel Baldelomar
Hi, my name is Raquel Baldelomar, and welcome to the Mega podcast where I speak with high achievers on how they fulfill their professional dreams while maintaining balance throughout their lives. Today I am speaking with Tammy Pardee, founder and CEO of Pardee Properties, which has established a dramatic new standard of success in real estate. She is the creator of a cutting edge concierge brokerage model using specialized teams to create life-changing client experiences in buying and selling homes. Since its inception in 2004 Pardee Properties has sold over 5.8 billion worth of residential and commercial real estate, and grown to four offices across California. Ranked as one of the top 10 real estate agents in California. Since 2008, Tammy has represented A-list celebrities and tech industry pioneers, as well as advise some of the world's most renowned architects in their development projects. In 2001, she was diagnosed with the autoimmune disease, multiple sclerosis, which can leave some with permanent nerve damage in the brain, spine, and other body parts.
This diagnosis made her realize she needed to live her life with purpose and vision. Pardee Properties, fosters wellness in and out of the workplace with holiday parties and paid retreat for her employees. And through her giving back program that devotes a portion of the firm's commission from each property to the local charity of the client's choice. Tammy is a mother of four children and fiancee to her partner John Moos. Along with her work priorities, she makes sure to balance her time with her partner with fun getaways and to have dance parties with her kids. . Tammy, welcome to The Mega Podcast.
Thank you. Thank you for that wonderful introduction.
00:01:59
Raquel Baldelomar
It's so good to have you here.
00:02:04
Raquel Baldelomar
I want you to tell me what does Tiger Woman mean to you?
Well, Tiger Woman is a name. My dad, my dad actually, um, named me as a kid and I didn't think anything about it for years and years. I just, that was my name and I could kind of do anything. And the interesting thing is my dad actually has, um, Parkinson's. He's stage five right now, and I never actually asked him exactly why he named me that. And so we did, last time I was there in Dallas with him and he's like, because you're fierce. And she, and he actually said, and you never, like my brother's kind of a, you know, I don't know, he can be a bully at times. And he is like, and you could always take on your brother .
00:02:48
Raquel Baldelomar
And he gave that to you at a very young age?
Very young. I was about like five years old probably.
00:02:53
Raquel Baldelomar
Really?
00:02:54
Raquel Baldelomar
Really? Yeah. And how do you think that identity, I mean, to know that you could, you were a tire woman, you could do anything mm-hmm.
, how do you think that identity shaped you?
I think it was really great. I mean, for a dad to say that to his daughter at the time mm-hmm.
of like, you can do anything as a woman. He never, he never made it different for me and my brother that I couldn't do something or my brother could mm-hmm. , which actually was really impactful for me. Um, now that I'm older, I realize Tiger isn't actually me. It's like he kind of gave me a tiger always to be by my side. That's kind of where I've gone with it in, you know, I'm 50 now. Mm-hmm. . Um, and it's been actually something that I've carried with me. I'm like, okay, I have the strength inside of me cuz tiger can be fierce, but a tiger is also can be noble and regal. Mm-hmm. . Right? Yeah. So it's all how you're looking at and, and seeing that tiger. Yeah. Tiger can be masculine or feminine. It could be a boy or girl, it's just a tiger. Right.
00:03:50
Raquel Baldelomar
Would you say that's your spirit animal?
It's definitely my spirit animal, yes. Love that. Tiger is definitely, and it's, you're the tiger, so it's all
00:03:56
Raquel Baldelomar
Coming around this year. You had really great parents, it seemed like. I mean it's, I remember it's part of my preparation for this, uh, this, this interview. You said. My dad taught me to think and my mom taught me to work.
Yes, that is true. I, you know, I do have great parents. I, um, you know, my mom was hard. My mom was a tough mom. My mom was not the like, let's snuggle up tight is
00:04:21
Raquel Baldelomar
I read that she made you get up at 6:00 AM and go pick strawberries with migrant workers from 6:00 AM to 3:00 PM Yeah.
So she, we called it Camp Strawberry because all my friends went to camp and Tammy went to the farm with her.
00:04:34
Raquel Baldelomar
Oh, wow. You thought that was normal?
Yeah. And I, and to be honest with you, it taught me a lot about like the world because I was there with, you know, all the immigrants and they were so kind to me. And I was little, like I was little and I was picking and I would get 25 cents a crate. And, um, to me at the time it was like I learned how to make money. I also learned that like, everybody's different but everyone's the same. And everyone was so kind to me that I, it taught me to just be loved and accepting, but also that they loved and accepted me cuz I was like this little girl out in the strawberry fields. I must have thought it was, I think it was like five or six that was small.
00:05:10
Raquel Baldelomar
Wow.
My mom, I think my mom worked, so that was her way of like, it was kinda like babysitting me but really working. And she wanted to teach me to work and she did. And it was, it was very impactful and we laugh about it cuz literally my family is like, and then Tammy, Tammy went to, you know, kept strawberry
00:05:27
Raquel Baldelomar
. Do you think that's a place of how your work ethic was developed?
I think it's one of the, the one of them, yeah. I definitely, I think that was important. Mm-hmm.
, um, growing up and always just, I mean, I always liked to work. I always wanted to be, um, independent to a little bit of my family as well.
00:05:49
Raquel Baldelomar
And you said that your dad taught you poetry. He taught you to, he made you memorize poetry?
He did. He, he did. He, um, somebody said it couldn't be done as the first one I memorized with him. Um, and he was my dad. My, both of my parents were farmers. Mm-hmm. So I think it was important for them to like really create and learn and my dad read a lot of books because that's how he learned. And so he wanted to implement that very young, almost too young at some of it. Some of it was like, he's like, wanted us to read the Prophet at like 10 years old. I'm like, I don't understand this at all, dad. You know, now I understand it. And now I understand all the things he was trying to teach me then mm-hmm.
and I'm like, Ugh. I get it, dad. I get it.
00:06:27
Raquel Baldelomar
Mm-hmm.
, what are some of the favorite poems that he taught you?
You know, I would say that there was a lot of poems, but the, the biggest thing to me are the little sings. And like, like I think that you can, and I try to do this with my kids too, and they laugh, um, with my mom and my dad. Like they always had these little teeny things. Like my mom would say, you attract more bees with honey. Mm-hmm.
, um, the sun always rises. Um, you know, pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered. Hmm. Which I use all the time. Um, if you take care of your farm, your farm will take care of you. Yep. Um, and I don't know, they, you know, they probably copied these from all these different people, but, and my dad always liked to they self be true, which is obviously a famous one, but all of 'em. And then having those snippets in my mind growing up, I, I go back to them all the time in business and I'm like, oh, this is how this applies. This is how this applies. And I think that helps me.
00:07:20
Raquel Baldelomar
It really does. I think there's something beautiful about just short, pithy, just beautiful quotes that, that that pack so much into just this little, just this little piece and people remember that it rather, they remember those little sayings rather than like, this long monologue of something you need to do.
Right. And it's funny cuz with my kids now, my mom has one never travel alone, which means pick up your stuff as you go. Mm-hmm.
and that's the rule in our house. Cuz I'm like, I don't, you know, and it's interesting cause they, they, they laugh and they're like, oh, here we go, mom, I'm never traveling alone. I'm like, great. Don't travel alone. You know? And so they're, it's like, it's fun to give that to them too because if I think that if anything travels with time with families, I think those are the types of patterning and things you actually want to travel with your family. Mm-hmm. , not some of the other patterning probably. Yeah. You know, so,
00:08:10
Raquel Baldelomar
So you grew up in Oregon?
I grew up in Oregon, yeah.
00:08:12
Raquel Baldelomar
Really? And then you went to Boston University?
00:08:17
Raquel Baldelomar
My sister, my sister went to BU.
Yeah. Terrier. Yeah. Um, I followed my high school boyfriend there and I'm really happy I did. Um, because I was from a small town. My, my Boston U was twice the size of my hometown, so going there and meeting everybody from all over the world, which is so eye-opening for me. Hmm.
00:08:37
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. What was Boston like compared to Oregon?
Oh my God. Totally. It was like so different. Yeah. Um, I mean, Oregon's very cool now. When I was there it was not, it was very, very, very hippy. And, um, it was very cosmopolitan for me. Boston was, and I got to meet, I mean, I, Oregon, everyone's friendly, so they say hi to everyone. So I would go down the streets in Boston and be like, hi. Oh my gosh, hi. It's nice to meet you. Hi. Hi. And everyone's like, you're gonna get killed. Like, you can't say hi to everyone. I'm like, yeah, I can. Like why wouldn't I, I met everybody there and it was like so great. And I'm still am friends with them to this day because, and I knew so many people and I think I, I brought my part of who I was growing up to them and I think it shocked them and they loved it.
00:09:22
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. I remember living in New York after college and I grew up in, from like 10 to 21. I grew up in Texas. Yeah. And in Texas there's this like, just hospitality. Everyone's nice, everyone says hello. And I, that's what I grew up with. And then when I went to New York, it was a very different experience and they were just like, you're not from here, are you ? You know? So it just, it's interesting to see how like, you grew up in these different places and then you go to like a very urban city and it's a little bit of a shock.
00:09:51
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. What did you study?
Um, marketing. I got my business degree there originally.
00:09:56
Raquel Baldelomar
And then after that that you moved to LA
Yeah, I moved back to Oregon. Okay. And we were gonna get married, Uhhuh,
, um, uh, and I decided that wasn't a good thing. So I drove in, like put, packed my car up and I drove to LA Really? And everybody was like, are you really going? And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go. And I did so and went to a room.
00:10:15
Raquel Baldelomar
You, when you came to LA you became the personal assistant of the actress Sharon Stone?
00:10:22
Raquel Baldelomar
How did you land that job?
You know, it was interesting. So everything is connection. Like, so if you, everything your, your life completely unfolds if your eyes are open. Right. So you have to be open to it. So when I had graduated from college, I went, um, to Europe for the summer. I met this girl, her sister worked at Paramount Pictures. I kept in touch with her. I got in touch with her sister. I worked at Paramount in PR. And um, and I was just kind and nice to everyone. And this man, Stanley Broce, who was a big publicist at the time, um, introduced like I was an assistant. He's like, you, there's something special about you. I think that you would really like to work with this. Like you'd be a good fit. But he didn't say that to me. Mm-hmm.
, he actually didn't say anything to me. And she actually called me and , she called me at my office and I'm like, she's like, this is Sharon Stone. Is Tammy there? I'm like, uh, like, this is Tammy
00:11:17
Raquel Baldelomar
. Was she the household name at that time?
She was the household name. She just came off of basic Instinct. Oh wow. Okay. So it was, it was like, I was like, cause I thought she was calling for my boss who was amazing. Carol Sewell the best. She was the best boss ever. Oh my God. And, um, and so then I went and I met with her and um, and I got the job and she asked, I remember she asked me if I could type and I really couldn't type that well. I still can't type that well to be honest with you. And I was like, uh, yeah, I could, I can type. And I, um, I never had to type for, thank God. But, um, yeah. And I started working for it. It was really an interesting, very dynamic. Um, I learned a lot in that job.
00:11:55
Raquel Baldelomar
It says in my research that one of the things she taught you was there. It's no such thing as the word no.
Right. She did teach me that. She taught me a lot of things and what she, I mean, literally, and if you think about it, there is, there's, if there's a will, there's a way to do everything. And we were remodeling her house at the time, or she was remodeling her house. And because my parents were both builders, which she didn't know originally I was, I became the manager of this whole huge remodel. And so she'd be like, I want the, you know, I want the foyer painted. Well, she had like a 40 foot high foyer by tomorrow. Mm-hmm.
. And I'm like, uh, and she's like, I do not want hear no. And I'm like, oh God, okay. So, you know, I just, you just do it. I went to the paint store, found the painters, got the paint, and paid them and fed them all night. And they were like hanging off like, I mean ladders and everything, and we got it done, you know, so, um, everything.
00:12:52
Raquel Baldelomar
And she taught you? No. She sought you like, just like, don't say no.
She said to me, never say no to me. Like, never say that you can't do something. Give me, tell me how it can be done. And I might say, I don't want to, you know, it's too expensive. Mm-hmm.
or it's, it's like, it's doesn't make sense, but I don't wanna hear that. No. It can't be done.
00:13:08
Raquel Baldelomar
One of the things I always loved about her was just how she represented this obvious, just sexiness this, this woman. But there was this strength. Yeah. You know, in her. And I think just that goes back to just this notice. Like she just, she found a way to get it done and that that strength is so beautiful.
Yeah. She's , she's tough as nails, man. She was, she was, she was tough and, but I did it and I was so, um, honored to be able to do it for her at the time too. And, um, yeah, she's, she's and she's smart. She's smart and beautiful, so yes.
00:13:41
Raquel Baldelomar
That's a powerful combination. Yeah. . Yes. And you started your company in 2004. Yes. Thank you. What prompted you to start Tami Pardee?
Um, you know, I think that I was having, I had a, I had a baby. Mm-hmm.
Taylor. I call her my golden child. She's going, she just got in, she's going to Berkeley. So that's very exciting. She's so, congratulations. Yeah, thank you.
00:14:02
Raquel Baldelomar
That is, that is huge.
Yes. Yes. So I'm very, we're going up actually this weekend. I'm going tomorrow too.
00:14:07
Raquel Baldelomar
That is so exciting. She's going to Berkeley. Yeah. Wow.
So, um, so at the very beginning I had her mm-hmm.
and I actually miscalculated my monthly, like what it would cost monthly for our house. And, and having it like a part-time. I wanted a part-time nanny mm-hmm. . And so when I did that, I decided I had to go back to work and I wanted to figure out something that I could do that I loved. And I loved homes and design and I had flipped houses and my parents were builders. And so I really understood that. So I went back and I got my license when I was actually, she was literally just born. And I also realized I couldn't be a stay-at-home mom because that is the hardest job that there is for every woman that is a stay-at-home mom. That is literally the hardest job I think, in the world. Um, and I just, I, I was really breaking not doing well doing that. So, um, I went and I got my license and I started working and I was in some mom's groups and I sold three houses to three of the moms. And, um, I sold 33 million my first year, which at the time was a huge number. Still is a really big number actually. And, um, and I, at the time, I, I just, and I still love, I loved the connection and I realized that that was like what I was meant to do.
00:15:20
Raquel Baldelomar
So, and that's how Pardee Properties started.
Yeah. I mean I didn't, I worked at Remax and I didn't like the balloon logo to be completely honest with you. I was like, I am not gonna associate myself with the balloon logo for, I mean, the rest of my life. So I tried to do my own marketing and branding cause that's what I'm at to school for. And they wouldn't let me. And I, I got my MBA in entrepreneurship and so I was like, I'm just gonna go on my own. Like, why would I not do this? So we started in one of the, the back bedroom at my house and there was like six of us at the end. And we got our, we got an office
00:15:48
Raquel Baldelomar
That's what all started. Yeah. One of the things that makes Pardee properties different from all these other brokerage firms is that you use best practices from the entertainment and the production industry mm-hmm.
when you formed your company. And that created an enormous amount of success. Talk about the, what you use. What exactly did you use from the entertainment and the production industry for your real estate firm? Right.
So when I came in to real estate, I just felt like the model was really broken. Like, it, it was so archaic. It was single agents maybe with an assistant kind of running around. And I'm like, this doesn't work. So what I did is I really associated it cuz I did TV and movie production as well. Um, in my Sharon era. Um, it was like pre-production, you know, production and then post-production and each had a team on it and people and people specialized in those areas. So when I applied that model to real estate, it's like we have the marketing team, the pre pre-production prep, right? We've got the production is like when we're showing the house, selling house, getting another contract. And then we have the post, which is another kind of little team. So we have somebody like the producer, which is the listing agent, which is myself and Paige that go, and other people, we have obviously other agents at the company that take it all the way through. But there's different areas where people specialize. Like a producer might not specialize in the paperwork that actually goes, goes together with everything or the compliance of the deal. So we have those people just like in production in place in our company. And it's just so effective. It's so efficient. The errors are very minimal at all, if at all really. And it's just a better client experience going through it. So
00:17:31
Raquel Baldelomar
That's incredible. What's also what I love to see is how you took these years of working in the entertainment industry and then you took the analogies of what you thought could work into a totally different industry and in many ways archaic. Right. And you said, I'm gonna change this model and see how it works for me. And now it seems like more and more companies are actually adopting your model. Right. You know, so you are in a way a trailblazer Right. For, for this. So I just think, you know, to all the people who are watching this, if they're, you know, work in an industry and you may not like it, you can no, study it, learn it. Because then you can go wherever you go next. You don't know what you're going to take, what applications you're going to take somewhere else. Like you didn't probably even realize, oh wow. Like the pre-production, the post-production, all, you know, this model, right. I'm gonna use that in real estate later on.
Right. I didn't realize it. I did love. I mean, production is, the entertainment industry is, it's pretty efficient actually, cuz it has to be. And I worked on live TV shows, this is before reality, but live mm-hmm.
. So I went to buildings, music shows, all of that. And when you're live, you're like, go time. Right? Mm-hmm. . So, and I love being, I'm like, efficiency is like so important to me. I can't stand inefficiency. So it, it was just interesting for me. I was like, you know, I was like, this is a great model for this and it is so efficient. And time is money in any deal, especially in real estate and it's big money, right? So if you're five or six days late on a close, that's like a lot of money. So the way I put it together is so efficient that it saved my clients a lot of money. Made my clients a lot of money on the hand, other hand too. And it's just, and it's just a, it's such a better
00:19:12
Raquel Baldelomar
Experience . Right? Well you, when you talk about efficiency being so important, I mean, if you're gonna run a company and then also have a family and have your health and be able to sleep and take care of your nutrition and manage your fitness and your wellness, like, you have to be very efficient. If you're not efficient, it's like you're just gonna get sucked in. I mean, you're gonna get sucked in with your time doing something and then you're gonna have no time left. Right. Or something else. So with building this company, how do you incorporate like, efficiency into your fitness and your own wellness?
You know, that's interesting because I think as an entrepreneur sometimes you can lose weight, you lose your weight. Mm-hmm.
. And that's actually what I did. Um, about five or six years ago, I realized that I was working an incredible, like, way too much. And I was stressed out and I was a little bit like on edge and it was just, I would say the tiger was not in the right, was not being a cub was being more of a tiger. And, and I didn't like that. Like, I don't want to live like that doesn't make me feel good. It doesn't make anyone feel good, right? Mm-hmm. . So, um, I kind of reevaluated my life to be honest with you. I was married at the time. I ended up getting divorced, um, and reevaluated my life. And how that started was I started walking in the morning.
Mm-hmm. And I would get up when this, everything was kind of, I would walk for like two hours. I would start walking at like 5:00 AM really? Um, cause I had to do it before the kids were up. And I would go at like, sometimes at four 30, to be honest, which was a little early, I would bring my weights for safety cuz we're in LA So I had weights and it was like, and then I had these great arms. Everyone's like, oh my God, your arms are so amazing. And I'm like, I've been doing this cuz I have to bring them for, you know, walking in Venice Beach at four 30 in the morning is probably not the safest thing.
00:20:58
Raquel Baldelomar
It's still dark.
Yeah. It still dark. It, it was just, but, but to me, I would put on music and I would choose music that really like moved me. And I have, I have a music playlist from every year. Like, it was so funny during that time it was like fight song and all the like, take back my life and all these, you know what I mean? And now it's like all love and joy and all that stuff. , um, after six years. But, um, but I, I had kind of a break. I breakdown breakthrough I would say. And when a, a dog had bit me and it changed my life and I realized like, this is not what I wanna be doing. So then I started, my first step was the walking.
00:21:34
Raquel Baldelomar
The walking.
00:21:35
Raquel Baldelomar
And do you still do that? Mm-hmm.
, do you still use to walk?
I just walked to beach this morning.
00:21:37
Raquel Baldelomar
Really?
Yeah, I do. I do almost every really
00:21:40
Raquel Baldelomar
How many miles?
00:21:41
Raquel Baldelomar
How many miles would you say you walk?
Walk? Um, this morning I walked about four miles, but usually I walk about two and a half miles.
00:21:46
Raquel Baldelomar
That's great.
Yeah. Yeah. Every morning.
00:21:48
Raquel Baldelomar
And do you uh, I do you still dance? I do You still do your dancing ?
I do. I do. And when I manifested, um, I, I wrote my manifestation letter of who I, the love of my life who actually came in about a seven months after I wrote the letter to myself. Um, he's a great dancer. Mm-hmm. And so we just started, we took salsa lessons. Oh. He's much better than I am. And I, I, and, and I always just wanna kiss him. So I I I'm not getting far my dancing with him, but, um, I dance at the lifeguard stand
00:22:16
Raquel Baldelomar
Yet. There's a beautiful picture on, we're gonna show this, uh, from your Instagram page. I think it's a you and your partner kissing at the lifeguard stand.
Yeah. That's our lifeguard stand.
00:22:25
Raquel Baldelomar
That's Beautiful.
00:22:27
Raquel Baldelomar
That's beautiful.
He's, he's amazing. He's a trauma surgeon. So he came in and healed my trauma, so helped me heal it. Yeah.
00:22:34
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. He's now doing, um, somatic healing.
No, he, he's in the psychedelic world, psychedelic work. So yeah. So he's doing trauma healing through psychedelics. Yeah.
00:22:45
Raquel Baldelomar
That's facinating.
He's incredible. He should have him on next.
00:22:49
Raquel Baldelomar
That's incredible. So he went from being a trauma surgeon to, he's now doing psychedelic healing
Trauma. Yeah. Wow. Healing trauma. Healing trauma. Because the thing is, is that when, when we first started, he, I actually did use psychedelics for a lot of healing over years at about 10 years of healing of, um, some childhood trauma. And when I met him, I told him about it and he's sober and like completely smart. Like, he was so, he was so fascinated. He's like, wait, you're healing, your, like, does this really work? And I think that for a while he couldn't believe that it really worked. And then he started to see it in me, obviously me he saw it, but also started doing all the research on it. And it's,
00:23:28
Raquel Baldelomar
There's an incredible one. Incredible. Yes. I mean, John Hopkins is doing in, I mean, research,
He's in the MAPS program. So he's in all those, he's in all those programs. Yeah.
00:23:36
Raquel Baldelomar
So what, um, would you care to talk about just what the psychedelic, healing, like what the process looks like?
Yeah, it's, yeah, sure. Um, it's all different for different types of people. Mm-hmm.
. So I worked with somebody, um, for years this, this, uh, woman friend of mine and she did like journey work of like going into deep. And it basically, what it does for me, what it did, I would say is it takes all the noises out of your head and you're like, like, who am I? Who is my true being? And every time I do the work, it's like I just have to be myself. Right? Like, I just wanna be Tami. Like I, I, we complicate our life with all of this. I should be doing this and this person and then this, and then all these little voices go on in your head and they're like fighting up there. It's like a sorority, like having a screaming match at each other. Right. But the reality is like, we all just like wanna be like who we are, like our true essence of ourselves.
Yeah. And so it helps you get to that and like helps guide you on how you're gonna do it. Like, a lot of, like, I'm working right now, most recently I'm boundary work and I wanna only be with people that I feel really good with and comfortable with. And I used to, like, I have some people in my life that like, would yell at me and bully me. And I don't wanna be that way cuz if I'm with them, I turn it the other way. So it's like really, like every time I do the work, I dig deeper and deeper and I learn more and more about myself and about tools that I need to.
00:25:07
Raquel Baldelomar
Well, you talk about how, um, like you weren't the tiger. You were, you were, you know, there was a time at your life where you were not like, you were more the tiger rather than just the cub rather than just going mm-hmm.
, you know, you were a fear-based leader versus a love-based leader. Yeah. So something like this, this psychedelic journey could help people kind of transform themselves from a fear-based leader to a love-based leader. Right?
Right. I mean that's, that's actually what, what ended what happened, right. So I did, I did, I mean, I was in Peru. I did, you name it, I've done it. And I did it because I didn't like myself and I wasn't myself. And so I, and I didn't like being like, I didn't like being a tiger. I, you know, I, I, I mean that type of a fear-based tiger. And it wasn't right for my employees and I didn't wanna be that way. And so the shift came like through me and I knew that I was the leader of the company. So if I'm shifting, then I allow everyone else to shift as well. Mm-hmm.
. So if they see me in like, I mean my, my relationship now is the most beautiful co-creation of love. Like, people stop us and like, oh my God. Cuz we literally are co-creating it together consciously every day. And now it's like all of the people that work for me, all of my, not only my, you know, my work family, but like my clients and all of that, it's like seeing that and getting glimpses, that that gives everyone the opportunity. Like I can do that too, right? Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm . I can be in that type of loving, caring relationship too. And I think that's really important.
00:26:40
Raquel Baldelomar
But it wasn't that way.
00:26:42
Raquel Baldelomar
What was what was the catalyst? Tipping point?
The catalyst, yes. Um, well everything in my life is literal. Like when I met John as a trauma surgeon, like killing my trauma in on an airplane on United Airlines, I'm like, everything is literal. So my ex-husband brought a dog home, his name as Bob. We had this kind of thing about, I thought we should get a doodle cause we had four kids anyway, uh, Bob bit me in my eye here. Oh. And um, I was like, holy crap. And dog, he was, it was a beat dog that it would been beat up and it was aggressive, right? And I'm like, this dog is me, had been beat up and aggressive in life, right? So I was like, oh my God, this, and then I realized that this, that god or spirit I call spirit, whatever, was like literally the I thing was like, to wake up, wake up, this is your life.
And there was a couple other things that had happened in threes right then. And I was like, I was not living my best life. So, and I, I'll never forget the spread of mine came over in Chicos and I'm crying and she goes, oh girl, you have just hit rock bottom. And I'm like, oh God, what am I doing? And then the next day, um, I asked my husband at the time to take the dog back and he's like, I'm busy, I'm too busy at work. And I'm like, what? Wait, this is over too. Like, this is just over for everyone here, you know? And so that dog Bob gave me the biggest gift because it literally was like, I am done and I need to do this. I need to figure out me and how, cuz it's, it was important for me too to show my kids like, I'm like the, I'm modeling them and I'm falling apart. Like, that is not how I wanna show up in these kids' lives.
00:28:24
Raquel Baldelomar
I love the fact that you could see the symbolism, you know, you were at least connected enough to be able to see the symbolism of what this dog represented. Yeah. It was you, the, you know how just you were angry, you were just lashing out. Yeah. And that it was also the symbolism of that moment of just, oh my god, my, my marriage is ending.
Right. But this dog, the bait dogs are caged. And I felt caged. Really? And you can't cage a tiger, right? Yeah. Yeah. So then I was like, I gotta get on cage here, . I gotta figure how to do this. So I
00:28:54
Raquel Baldelomar
Did. So what changes did you do in the work to make yourself the leader you wanted to be? What did you do?
I think that I got really, like there, I did a lot of work. Like I obviously did the, the psychedelic work. I went to Hoffman, which is the Hoffman process, which is a life changing process. I started doing a lot of self-care. Um, and I also just like started like being really real with people. Like, and I started just, I think for me really loving myself was the biggest thing. I know that sounds so cliche cause we, we all talk about it, but like, if you really, if you don't love yourself, like, I didn't love myself when I was yelling and like a fear-based leader. And I was like, I wanna like really love myself. So one of the things that is important to me, it's always been, and that's why people love me. Even when I was a little scarier, I love to play like I am.
Mm-hmm.
. If there's one thing I match as the last name and thank you for my ex for, you know, that was not my last name, that is his name. But now it's my name with my children's and it's a party. Like I am, I'm the goddess of love and play. Like I, I am like I, I'll play any card game or any of those. But I like to dance. I like to party, I like to bring me music. I mean, every music festival I'm going to this weekend we're going to, we're jazz fest. And then we're going to Garth Brooks. I love Garth Brooks.
00:30:14
Raquel Baldelomar
Oh, I love Garth Brooks. I know that Texas girl.
I love john who always gets me tickets. We follow him around. It's my birthday, it's my present. So, you know, I think that there's gotta be a core of something that you're like, what is my core? I am playful and loving and that's what I wanna get back to.
00:30:28
Raquel Baldelomar
So, and I love how you talk about how you have these parties for your employees. Yeah. These Easter parties, these I praying for snow parties. Yeah. I mean it's like, it is not just something, it, it doesn't seem like something that, oh, I just have to do this because I have to keep my workforce happy. But it's truly who you are. I mean, you'd love to play and to have fun. It it's the dance. It's like you love to go and just dance and just, yeah. That's beautiful.
I was just talking to my right hand and I was like, we have to have a, we have to have a summer party. We're gonna have, we're gonna get this band cause we have this karaoke, we have some really good singers at my company. So I'm like, there's a karaoke band and we're going get him and everyone's gonna karaoke and we're gonna dance. And so that's already getting planned for Summer
00:31:07
Raquel Baldelomar
. Do you think that love of just having fun and wanting to party and just celebrating life came from your realization that you're diagnosed? Mean when you, when you're diagnosed with MS, you wouldn't, you don't know what the future holds. I mean, none of us stupid and in you it just, you
That was a scary moment . So like, oh my Lord, what is happening?
00:31:31
Raquel Baldelomar
I mean, it's such a heavy, it's such a heavy realization. So it's almost like you needed the light, the play to fun to balance out this very heaviness.
Yeah. I mean, actually I think I was
Born with the love in the play actually I, that was my essence actually. I actually, that was who I was. I think through the years, I think that, you know, I had some tr I had a lot of trauma as a child. I think that, um, I got smaller and smaller. You know, I think when I got diagnosed with the MS, I think the MS was a manifestation of unde with trauma actually, because it's caged me, if you will. Or could have. And this was 20 years ago, there wasn't really a lot you could do about it at that time. Now there's a lot. Thank God. So it's a won, you know, it's all the medical advances are wonderful. Um, but I was really scared when I got diagnosed with MS. And I did take about a year and a half off and I just did some, I did a lot of, I started of meditating.
I did a lot of healing then, but I didn't really know what I was doing, I would say. Um, but it was, it's, it's when you get diagnosed with it's scary. Yeah. And you do wanna live your best life. I just didn't know how to, how to live my best life then. You know. So, and that's the thing is, is back then I didn't know how to like, talk to people or like, like, um, have emotional conversations. I didn't feel safe having them like I do now. And I didn't have the tools like I do now. And, um, and I wish I would've, you know, I wish I would've known like how to have those conversations, those more intimate conversations.
00:33:05
Raquel Baldelomar
You mentioned you started doing meditating really after that. Yeah. Do you realize that, like what does meditation look like to you? Do you do it every morning? Every,
So like, how does, it was interesting because I just did things, I kind of followed a protocol then mm-hmm.
. Um, I don't even think I knew I was doing meditation, but I was doing guided meditation, um, and basically taking the MS as like little, um, cells. So I would like imagine them like dissipating in my mind, which has been amazing. Cause I actually have, I'm a pretty benign case of ms, so I did that for years. And then really up until I I, my walk was more my meditation I would say. And then during Covid, I ruptured my Achilles. So I know playing flag football with the kids. See I love to play . I'm like, I'm in volleyball, I'm doing volleyball. I mean, I'm like, every, you name it, I'll play it. I'm terrible at flag football though. , I'm like, obviously. But, um, anyway, so I started TM meditation and that, that actually is very, to me, what I do now, what I need to go in really deep, very quickly. And I, I love that type of meditation.
00:34:10
Raquel Baldelomar
No, I love it too. For me, that has been, I mean, a huge just breakthrough in my life is just the, the, the transcendental meditation. And it really became like, I have my own little prayer now I try to do every morning. It means something very different, but it's the same prayer.
00:34:25
Raquel Baldelomar
But it's every, it's different and it's just, if I can, if I can start my day off meditating with like, some sun, getting some sun on me. Right. It's, it changes the whole day. Yeah. If I don't have the meditation, I totally realize like, this is just, my day is a little bit off.
00:34:41
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. So I, I think that, oh, it's so good. Meditation is so important. Yes. Um, how has MS compromised your day-to-day activities? That's great that it's just a benign case, but,
Um, you know, it's, it just, I think it puts me in awareness of, of everything. Mm-hmm.
, I think if anything I did when I got diagnosed, you know, it was really difficult, but I did realize I'm like, this is my one life, right. So I'm gonna live it. And I think in that way it catapulted me into a lot of things, which I think was a good thing. Um, you know, sometimes I'm like, you know, things will happen. I'm like, I wonder if that's my MS. So it is a little bit, um, stabilizing, you know? Mm-hmm. , I do feel like I do meet people with MS and I and new people that are diagnosed and I like to talk to them and help them and have them see that I was able to have four kids and live a normal life and do all these things. Cause I think that's important is shifting your mind that this isn't like, oh my gosh, you're gonna be, you know, like, what does this mean for people? Um, so I like to help anyone that what's been diagnosed.
00:35:42
Raquel Baldelomar
Are there things that you just do not take for granted anymore?
I mean, time. I think I, I try to be as present as I can and I don't wanna spin out in something and be like, you know, standing in a corner and wasting my, my time really. Right. Because that's not good. Right.
00:35:58
Raquel Baldelomar
I also, as part of the preparation for this interview, I read that MS made you really want to, you know, build a career where you can make money so that you wouldn't, your family wouldn't have to pay. Yeah. I mean, it's an interesting and a weird sort of way how that is what drove you to try to build a very successful career. Not having to rely on your family to take care of you, but rather to have, uh, just to pay, be able to pay for that.
Yeah. That was one of them. Yeah, it did. It was a dri for sure. I, I wanted to be successful on my own. I didn't wanna have to marry a rich man or anything like that to live. I didn't want my family to have to wipe my bottom or any of that. If, if my MS got bad, which was a driver very quickly. And that's why I think because I became successful so quickly, but I also wanted to be successful in my own right as a woman. And my dad really did prep me for that. Like, he didn't go, oh, you're a woman or a man. Like, it was never that. It was like I was just mm-hmm.
his person, his, his, you know, a person to him that can do anything. Yeah. Tiger. Right? Yeah. Not a man or a woman, just a tiger.
00:37:08
Raquel Baldelomar
But it's also like, you know, fear is a powerful motivator. Yeah. I mean, it is. I mean, and, and, and, and it's not, sometimes these things happen to us and we, the fear, you know, of oh my God, like I have who's gonna take care of me. That is a powerful motivator. Yeah. But just because I might be a powerful motivator at that time. Yeah. Like, doesn't mean that you can, you know, you can change what motivates you. You can change what drives you. Right. Doesn't mean that it's not good right there. I mean, I, many of us have had situations where trauma of our own lives, where the fear, the pain, the loss is what drove us. And then we get to a place and I'm like, okay, now we can go Right. You know, use something else to drive us now to the next phase of our lives.
Right. It definitely drove me. The MS definitely, definitely definitely drove me.
00:37:57
Raquel Baldelomar
You talk about how you created vision boards.
00:38:02
Raquel Baldelomar
tell me what a vision board looks like.
So that's part of my life change warriors. But, um, I can tell you. So for me, I manifest, I, I'm a big manifestor and I, I don't even like the word manifesting cause it sounds so woowoo in a way. But I always write out my life. I'm like, okay, this is what I'm doing. Like this is what's from a hundred year old goddess mm-hmm. Of myself. I'm like, okay, you're in your forties and you did this, da da da, you're in, this is how you're gonna live your life. So it starts with a letter to myself from my older self. So
00:38:30
Raquel Baldelomar
The hundred year old goddess. It's beautiful. Yeah.
So like, what already happened to me. Yeah. So it's like when I manifested like literally John, I was like, we have six kids, we have a lake house. It's 4th of July, we're drinking rose. The only thing is he doesn't drink. We're dancing together and we, we have our boat. And literally three years later after I wrote that, I didn't even meet him. I, I met him. We had our lake house, we had our boat. It was the 4th of July. Mm-hmm.
. I'm like, oh my God. We're like literally living my letter. So when I do a vision board, I start with a letter of what I want. Uhhuh . Then I take out, and then I go ahead and I put it in like five different categories. It's like myself, my family, my work, my love, and my fr my friends and then also my community, sorry, my community in there too.
So I basically take all these things and I do magazines, and then I write my goals. Like, if it's like, for instance, I wanted to go to Cuba. I wanted, so I wanted to actually take my daughter on a trip for her 18th birthday. So give my daughter a trip. Plan the trip, you know, we went, we ended up going to Cuba is where we went. But just like little things like you could do business. You could say like, I want to, um, you know, like, I wanna do a billion dollars this year in, in real estate. And so how am I gonna do that? So I put like just the little steps in there on how to do it mm-hmm. and it, it works. And I, I teach that. That's my life change work. That's class, that's the life change warrior. That's what we do with the homeless women too. And theirs is like, I wanna get my GED, you know, and we do it with them. And I'm like, okay, what are the steps to get the GED? And they go through 'em. And out of our, our graduating class one year, six of 'em didn't have their GED, they all put it in their board and six of 'em got their GED. That's
00:40:10
Raquel Baldelomar
Right. Well, I love what you said about the life change Warriors Foundation is that you don't wanna just give people money, but you wanna teach people how to fish.
00:40:18
Raquel Baldelomar
You wanna have them like, and that division board is part of doing that. So it's like a 15 hour program,
It's about a 15 hour and it starts with their lifeline because I think that the lifelines are really important mm-hmm.
because everyone has a life story and that really does, um, affect every everyone. But when you're in a group setting and then you realize like other people, like there's a lot of, you know, people that were molested in there and they're like, mm-hmm. Oh wait, you were molested. And, and I was actually molested as a child too. So with these women mm-hmm. Most of them in the homeless, um, shelters are, were so there's a relational thing and they're like, wait, you were, and you did all this? I'm like, yeah, and you can do it too. So let's, like, let's figure out how we can do this, you know, together. Yeah. Because we're there to support each other, right? Yeah. And so, um, so yeah. I, I love I so, but we start with their, their lifeline in that. And then we go through some present work of like, this is, you're okay. We're worthy, you're loved, you're lovable. We got this. And then we create from there. So
00:41:18
Raquel Baldelomar
I love that. Yeah. What does, what does a warrior mean to you?
A warrior means somebody that, um, actually goes for what they want, but is also flexible. Flexible and can pivot when needed. And that follows their heart and really is their true essence of who they are.
00:41:36
Raquel Baldelomar
Mm-hmm.
, I remember. Yeah. I, in my research I read that you wanted to be like, your goal was to be this down to earth life,
00:41:45
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. And that's how the foundation started. Yep. That's wonderful. And I
Feel like I am that in, it's funny cuz I, I, I don't like the term real estate agent. I think it just has such a terrible connotation. And so we run a company retreat and I'm like, let's rename what we are. And so we renamed us into life-changing warriors because we help people change their lives in real estate, like through homes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
, because that's a life-changing event for
00:42:09
Raquel Baldelomar
People. It totally is. Yeah. And, and speaking to that life changing event of people, it's something that you being in the real estate space, you, you know that buying a home in Los Angeles is not feasible today like it was 20 years ago. Statistically, the vast majority of people will never be able to afford a home. Mm-hmm.
. If an average person today wanted to buy a home mm-hmm. , like how could they make that happen? How could a young upwardly mobile educated professional in Los Angeles mm-hmm. work their way to buy a home when it's becomes so expensive.
I always say this is what I, cause I work with a lot of first time home buyers. I mean, you have to get in the market because the problem with the market in Los Angeles is it kind of, it moves very quickly. Right. So what I usually do is I try to get them into areas that aren't, aren't moving as well, that haven't moved so quickly. So like maybe, we'll, you know, Inglewood, Baldwin Hills, different areas. What at West Adams? You know, all of those um, used to be Venice, you know, it depends on where you are, but just kidding, I don't care if you buy one bedroom condo, get in the market and then know that it's going to take a few moves for you to get to where you wanna be. Right. So, and I always encourage people to obviously start their savings. A lot of the times parents will help them, you know, put a down payment. I mean the reality is in Los Angeles there's a housing major housing shortage. And that's why things are so expensive because they have not allowed more and more housing. Which I get the complications of that. But there needs to be more housing cuz it, with limited supply, the prices go too high. Right. They just do. Right.
00:43:47
Raquel Baldelomar
And also the prices of home are going up, but the median income of people working here is kind of staying the same. There's just a lot of income inequality.
00:43:59
Raquel Baldelomar
Mean, so agree. How do you think just our society can address that? Is is it,
I mean that's, that's for the political forefront, which I hope
like starts paying attention to this. Right. I used to build affordable housing when I was, um, getting my MBA actually. And I do think that there's some affordability that needs to be considered. I would do families and we did, um, seniors mm-hmm. . And I see that being the biggest gap where it's like really difficult. You know? Um, I do think that there needs to be a lot more attention on that and attention also on the spending. Cuz there have been huge bills that came in, you know, billion dollar bills, but then the cost to build is, I don't know, $700 a foot they're putting on the affordable housing. And it's, it's just not, it just doesn't make sense right now. So
00:44:51
Raquel Baldelomar
Since most of your work is focused in residential real estate mm-hmm.
, uh, the zoning of properties
00:44:57
Raquel Baldelomar
I'm sure affects that. And I've read that there's a lot of zoning, uh, just bills to push change the zoning of residential properties. Right. Rather than like a single family home could possibly be turned into a home that maybe has seven units. Mm-hmm. , how do you, where do you think that's an answer, you know, to address the housing crisis or affordability, but then while by doing that, it does change the dynamic of other single family homes and neighborhoods.
Yeah. I think there's gonna be areas like more corridor areas that, that needs to happen. I think what you need to, what we need to do is redefined, redefine our conversation about a neighbor as well. Like, I, I find it interesting where people are like, oh, I don't want that. I don't want that. You know, and I like in residential neighborhoods, I get that. Right. I get that they're not, you know, you don't want a house and then seven units. Hmm. But you could definitely do it on a major street. You know what I mean? Have a little bit, have more, have more housing on those streets. And there's also like housing that we could be doing in different areas, you know mm-hmm.
that I think hasn't been seen. So I haven't been doing as much research on that. Um, but I definitely think that, you know, I think I want ever, I would like, like micro units, you know, smaller units and having some of these like little 500 square foot tiny houses. Yeah. You know, could be something that could,
00:46:22
Raquel Baldelomar
It could be. It's a way, it's a, it's a way for people to at least get into Yeah. You know, if they wanna live, let's say in Venice. Yeah. And they want to, uh, they work in Venice, they live in Venice. They might have to sacrifice, you know, space in order to live in the neighborhood they want. Yeah. I work out at Gold's Gym. Oh, you do a mess. Yes. Yes I do. And I, I love working out there. And one of the things that just breaks my heart when I drive by there Oh. Is seeing just all the homeless tents I know right in front of the Google building Right. In front of the Gold's Gym building. How, you know, what do you, knowing that you're selling, you know, real estate and you see this, I mean, you, you must see just the homelessness next to these mm-hmm.
million dollar homes that you're selling. Like what is the solution, having the, you know, some housing in Venice for these people? Is
I something else? I don't know. What the solution is. I, what I know is what is happening is not fair to them. Anyone. Mm-hmm.
, and this is America, right? So it's like, let's take care of ev. Like let's figure this out. I don't think the government, um, I don't, I I, I don't think what they've been doing is, it's obviously not effective. Right. Um, and I don't think it's good for anyone at all. You know what I mean? So I think that there's gotta be a lot of work that happens on that. Hmm. I don't know the solution. Um, I do know when I built affordable housing, I built over 500 units. The way we did it worked, but they got rid of the redevelopment years ago. So I don't know.
00:47:58
Raquel Baldelomar
But it goes back to also community, what you talk about. Mm-hmm.
just focusing on compute community. You make that a big part of just what your manifestation letter is. That it's not just, if you, if you know, a home is not just about, you know, those four walls. Right. It's about your community. And if you want your community to thrive, you also have to, you know, if your grandfathers said, give back to your
Farm, you know, that's why, that's why I give so much back to my farm. Mm-hmm.
. I mean, I've given over a million and a half dollars back to my farm. And that's why I work with homeless women to be like, okay, let's get you off. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. , let's figure out a better way to do this and get, and I mean, they actually, it's funny because some of 'em have gotten jobs at the affordable housing places that I told you about. Really? And I'm like, and you know, she has a, like one of 'em, and it's interesting cause after I teach this class to them, they do get on their feet. And then I, like, one of 'em saw, I saw at the grocery store with her daughter, and I'm like, she's like, oh my God, you changed my life. I got a job. I got the, I'm like, oh, thank God. You know? So I don't know what the solution is. I, I would like there to be a solution, obviously. Um, but for me, my solution of what I'm trying to do is
00:49:11
Raquel Baldelomar
You're building your community
Teaching. Teaching 'em, yeah. Teaching and helping. And, and I do give them, um, money when we're done with the program to go for their rent for the first few months. I think you probably know
00:49:22
Raquel Baldelomar
That. Right. And I also read that for every sale you make, there's a portion of that that's given back to the charity.
Yeah. It's not of the client's choice. It actually goes into the different charities that are local. Because I was giving money to Cat Charities in Virginia, which I have nothing, no problem with Cat Charities. It's just that when they're in Virginia, I'm like, well, I'm trying to work on our community. Yeah. You know?
00:49:44
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When between balancing the work of the community, these major issues of just, you know, the, the addressing real estate needs for your clients. Mm-hmm.
, you also are a mother of four. And now a, you know, you have a blended family of six.
00:50:03
Raquel Baldelomar
A blended family of six. Yeah. You have a fiance, you're running a multi-million dollar business. What does balance mean to you? Like, how are you trying to balance all of, because they're all very different priorities. They need different sides of Tammy. Mm-hmm.
, they need, um, like the, your children require different things from you, from your employees,
Right? Well, sometimes And then your partner. Sometimes, yeah. My partner definitely. But sometimes my, my, they can, their work family and the home family can be the same. Um, you know, for me it's about quality time. Mm-hmm.
. So I, like, I take golf lessons with my son, Jack. Mm-hmm. , I'm not a golfer, but he, we call him Country Club Jack . I mean, it's all at the public golf courses and stuff. Um, but I try to like, I try to see what they are passionate about and then do that with them, you know. So, um, for the kids, it's really quality time. I, I don't have the, you know, I have them, I have them certain days, so on those days, I don't work after. So I'm picking them up and I take them and I, you know, those, that's very important to me. Mm-hmm. . Um, and it's just the moments. Like we just went on a sailing trip and I was like, no devices. And so that's wonderful. We sat with no device and it was Aw.
00:51:12
Raquel Baldelomar
That's wonderful. Yeah. And, and in my research I read that you don't start your, you don't check your email. Mm-hmm. You don't check your phone. You don't check media until after your walk until after 10:00 AM Yeah. I think that's such a great practice. It's just setting boundaries.
Yes. Yes. So, and it's great for my brain too. Cause it gives my, yes. It gives my, just, I decompress. I like set my intention for the day. I know what's ha like, I'm like, okay.
00:51:36
Raquel Baldelomar
So is that part of just your own way of balance in your life? Is it's, talk about the boundaries. You've talked about boundaries as a new way you're, you know, you're working through is like, that's part of love too, is creating boundaries.
Right? Boundaries. When I first learned about boundaries in Hoffman, I was like, boundaries. What, what's a boundary? I had no idea. Mm-hmm.
and it, and right now I'm working on them pretty heavily because I realize how important they are. Um, and I realized that I had some in place mm-hmm. , which was this 10:00 AM it was a boundary. Mm-hmm. , I, I didn't call it a boundary, but I was like, oh, that makes me feel comfortable. Mm-hmm. . Um, I also think that like, what I'm accepting and not accepting for the people. Like I, there are certain things like I, with my love, my partner and my love of my life, John, when I met him, I was like, listen, I'm like, these are my, was a boundary. I would call it a requirement. So I think there's requirements and there's boundaries to me mm-hmm. , like, there's boundaries where it's like, Nope, we're gonna stop here.
Okay. Or this is where I'm comfortable going, but there's also requirements that I have. So, like, for me, my requirement for the, for my love, which, um, is I was like, I need complete, you know, I was so, I want complete transparency. Like if something, like I just wanna like know ev like I wanna know what happens or not happens. And this is when we were dating, I'm like mm-hmm. . So we were like, if you're sleeping with someone else, I wanna know so that I can make an informed decision of what we're doing. Um, physical touch, not just sexual touch. Physical touch was important. And I'm like, you can never yell at me. And this is right when we first started dating, like four weeks in, I said, listen, I need to tell you my requirements and see if you're okay with them, because if you're good with them, we can keep dating. But if not, then I can't date you. Like we're not, this isn't gonna
00:53:16
Raquel Baldelomar
Work out. That's so great that you actually knew what they were for you and you were able to say that. That is,
That's great. Yeah. Let me be clear. I took the quintessentials, Andrea Quinn's class, who's amazing.
definitely that class. And she, I had just come off the class for the weekend. I was like, okay. I'm like, I was sweating. Really? I was like fully
Sweating to tell him. And I'm like, um, I have to talk to you about something. And he's like, what? I'm like, I'm like, well, I have these requirements that I, because I was just sick of wasting time. Yeah. And like making, minimizing myself. So I said that and then he was like, I can do that. And so what I realized, even with my friendships, and I don't sit there and say, these are my requirements of, of my friendships, but I real realized that the requirements of my friendships are very much the same mm-hmm. of the transparency of, of feeling comfortable that I'm not gonna get yelled at. Right. And so I realized that those, I have boundaries and I have requirements.
00:54:06
Raquel Baldelomar
Okay. But on that transparency, like, and what would've happened if he did say when you first started dating? Yeah. I am maybe seeing somebody else. I mean, that's sometimes
. Don't you wanna know that? I mean, don't you wanna know? Oh my God, I wanted to know. Because if he was seeing somebody then and I didn't know, and I felt more and more for him, right? Mm-hmm.
00:54:33
Raquel Baldelomar
Then it's like this big surprise. And then it's like a lot. Then I feel like he's lying and I'm like, oh my gosh. And what actually ended up happening is I saw somebody else because I didn't think he was, I thought he liked me, but I didn't think he was that interested in me. But because this, the requirements go both ways by the way. Mm-hmm.
, like it's trans. That's good. Right. That's good. It's not like's, he's just transparent. And I'm like sitting there. So I actually was with somebody else, and I said to him, I said, listen, I said, I promise you transparency. I was with somebody else. Um, you know, I gotta be honest with you, it didn't feel right because I feel like I should be with you, but we're not, we weren't exclusive or anything. And that actually shifted our entire relationship. He was like, uh, what ? And I was like, uh, I don't, yeah. I told we're transparent. And he was like, no, that's not what I want. And I was like, well, then let's talk about that. Right. And then we shifted, and then we've been together really together ever. And we were really together from the first time we met, but
00:55:26
Raquel Baldelomar
That really shifted and having that incredible, like honest, like, just real honest
Conversation. Yeah. And women don't do that. That's the thing. It's like, I, I was sitting there with somebody the other day. I'm like, why are we so scared to say what we want? Like, if we can't just tell people like, this is what I want. This is how I feel whole. Right. It's like then they're just gonna run us over all the time because they don't even know. Yeah. It's like nobody's a mind reader. Right, right, right. So we expect these people to read our minds, but that can't be the case, you know? So,
00:56:00
Raquel Baldelomar
But you have to know what you want too. You know, it starts with knowing what you want. Right. Too.
And, and, and that's what I did a lot of work around my second time around. I was like, I am gonna have the second time around if I'm gonna be with somebody. It's going to be like the most beautiful co-creation of love, because that's what I wanted. I, I had seen it, I don't know if you've ever seen this, but I took snippets through my life of things that I really love and actually of love, to be honest with you. It was started with my neighbors Bonnie and Bob Sleeman. And then it was this Laura and David Hertz's wedding. I'll never forget sitting at their wedding. I was with my ex-husband. Um, and I was bawling cuz I could see their love. I could just, you could see you, you can feel, feel it, you can feel it. And I'm like, oh my God, I want that. And he was sick. He got sick to his stomach. And I was bawling. And I'm thinking, these are real signs here, you know? Oh, wow. And um, after that wedding, I realized that I could, that actually it existed. Right. And there were other snippets of other relationships for my life. I was like, oh, they, they like really? Yeah. Love each other. I
00:57:02
Raquel Baldelomar
Know. And that's a beautiful thing to see.
Yeah. Yeah. And so, and so, when I saw all that, so I, when I became single again, I'm like, I'm not settling. I'm never gonna settle. Like I'm gonna co-create to that level of how it reads to me. And that's what, that's what we have done. It's, it's, it's the most incredible. That's the most incredible thing. That's beautiful.
00:57:23
Raquel Baldelomar
I also love that you also demanded a requirement of mine is not just sexual intimacy, not sexual touching, but physical touching. Yeah. You know, that's really important to me too. It's like the, you know, the five languages of love,
That's my love language. Yes.
00:57:37
Raquel Baldelomar
Physical touch and quality time are very much my languages of love. And and it is. Dip sexual touch is very different than physical touch. Totally. Totally. And knowing that you said that to him, like, I want that, like that's really important to me. Is a lot of self-awareness on your part too. But it's also like saying, this is such an important part. Like if I don't have that Yeah. It's like, it's like it's not a relationship.
Yeah, exactly. And that was, and I did all the work that five languages of love a you know, when I was divorced and it was interesting cause my, he didn't like physical touch. I'm like, oh, that's so interesting. Really.
00:58:10
Raquel Baldelomar
You know? Really? So see, that's so interesting. Like, before, so you didn't know that when maybe you were dating your, you know, ex-husband at the time.
The time at the time, right? Yeah. So it was kinda like, you, you know, you're where you're, where you're at when you're supposed to be there. Right. You know, he didn't know either. He was, we were both unaware and that was okay. Right. But this next time out I'm like, oh no, I'm gonna really hone in to what I, what I want. And we laugh because now we, we cuddle and touch all, like, my kids are, my mom calls us. My mom is like, oh my God, you're like an octopus to me. It's like he's tatted. And so he got this huge octopus on his arm.
00:58:47
Raquel Baldelomar
Oh, that's so,
And we always cuddle. Like it's, I'm like, oh, the cuddle. The cuddle is real, babe. The cuddle is real. Like, it's like that's, it's so nurturing and it's so physical's touch, for me at least is so
00:58:59
Raquel Baldelomar
Healing. And you know, to see also like, I, to see older people like just touching and in love. Oh my god. That just makes my heart melt. I remember, I, I waited tables in college and I remember seeing this couple that was probably in their seventies and they would always come, like every two weeks they would come on this date to the steakhouse and she, there were these glamorous older couple and you could just see the love. Yeah. I mean it was so palpable. She would, he would make her cry. It was like a first date, but they had been together for just like 30 years. And I was like, that is what I want. Yeah. Yeah. That is so beautiful. Yeah. How it's, it's it's, it's just like, but it's hard to get. It's hard to get and it's hard to, and it's hard to maintain.
It's, it's actually not. It's it, here's the thing is like everyone, when I met John, they're like, where did you find him? I'm like, like, aisle six in Home Depot. You know? You're not finding it. You're not getting it.
00:59:53
Raquel Baldelomar
You're really found him at Home Depot.
No, I, I met him on an airplane.
00:59:56
Raquel Baldelomar
Oh,
An airplane. I met him on an airplane. Wow. And we did an emergency landing in Grand Junction, cuz it's all literal for me. Like United Airlines, grand Junction. I'm like, oh my god, trauma surgeon. I'm just like, okay. But we consciously co-created our love. So he was awake enough, right? Mm-hmm.
, because you meet at the, you'll meet your partner at the level you're at. And I was awake and when we met, we literally talk about like our love. Like, we're like, okay. And he's like, his is his love language is, um, words of affirmation. So that's really important. So we actually put aside time to like talk at night. Mm-hmm. Cuz that's important for him. Mm-hmm. , you know what I mean? And it's like everything is very, very extremely conscious and consciously co-creating. So I think that it's, it's not as difficult as everyone thinks it is. If you have an open dialogue with your partner and you have the, the openness and then it's like the spiritual partnership is like, even making love is a totally different out of this world thing. So
01:00:59
Raquel Baldelomar
How do you maintain that intimacy though, after being together? For how many years have you,
We've been together a little over four years now.
01:01:07
Raquel Baldelomar
Four years. Okay. You have six children, Uhhuh between the, your two families. Mm-hmm.
, you're running this just, just multi, you know, it's a billion dollar business.
01:01:18
Raquel Baldelomar
And he has his, his business.
01:01:21
Raquel Baldelomar
Through his healing journey. So you both are, you know, you have a lot of responsibilities, a lot of priorities. How do you make time to maintain intimacy between the two of you?
We do a lot of things. Like we play, we play together. Uhhuh,
. I mean, we play a lot. Like we, we laugh a lot. We cook together. Mm-hmm. , we make sure we have our time together. We go out to dinner at least once a week together. Mm-hmm. , we always go to the same place. Um, but it's really like, like nurturing ourselves. Like for instance, like I'll sit at home and he'll like rub my feet. We have these two rocking chairs in our house that, um, we'll just sit out and I light all the candles at night. I always light candles at night. And that's like our time. He'll have breakfast kambucha and I'll have my glass of wine and mm-hmm. , we talk, we talk about everything. Even the hard things. If I did something or if he did something that made, we call 'em, um, misfires. Mm-hmm. we're like, misfires love that. , we got that from Laura Doss. Thank you. And if something happened, we call it, instead of it's like, oh my God, I'm so angry at you and not talking about it. Like it'll, he'll be like, I'll be like, we don't, like if I misfired I'm like, you know what? I just wanna own my misfire today. I did this and I know that made you feel uncomfortable and I'm sorry I was in this state and that wasn't okay.
01:02:36
Raquel Baldelomar
That's really nice. Yeah. That you actually have this opportunity to like, hey, like we have misfires knowing that you're, you're human. You make, yeah. You make mistakes. Sometimes you, you're busy, but you both maybe can you do something, say something Right. Act away and then you can say, Hey listen, I misfire. That's a, yeah. What a beautiful way of just saying
That. Yeah. And we actually are in, um, well we didn't realize we were in couples therapy, but we were working with this, this shadow work, this lady mm-hmm.
and she had us both come in and so we started doing like couples therapy with her once a month, which we really didn't realize. I'm like, I think we're in couples therapy right now, . And we maintain that because even when we're in a great place, which we, it's like, it's important to literally work on your relationship mm-hmm. . And sometimes it does take somebody else to sit there and, and she knows us both very well now and just to kind of always have it an open dialogue. So Yeah.
01:03:33
Raquel Baldelomar
To your kids and physical touch with your kids and play. One of the things I read that just touched my heart was when you said how you do these foot rubs at night with the kids and they fight, actually they, they are, they fight amongst each other to see who's gonna get the first foot rub with mom.
01:03:52
Raquel Baldelomar
How did that start? Um,
Thank you. I I I see you have all your angels out there that like help you through these things. And it's true. It's like all of it is from snippets from other people. Mm-hmm.
. It's like my friend, one of my, my sole sister Lizanne who I met at Hoffman when I got divorced, I was like, I wanna like connect with my kids more. Like I feel like I'm not connecting with 'em. I don't know how to do it. Mm-hmm. , I really didn't know how to do it cuz I was, you know, um, and she goes get lavender oil and go in there and rub their feet. Cuz I wanted to talk to 'em about this like the divorce and like, and like see if they would, you know, kind of have them be able to talk. Right. And um, so I started doing it. I thought they thought I was gonna be like nuts doing it. They were like, oh this is awesome. Like it was, it's been life changing for us all. And now of course they're like, okay, now my back actually. Like, so now they all have different things. Like some of like, no, not but rub mom, I'm wanna do my head or my should shoulders, which is totally fine.
01:04:49
Raquel Baldelomar
I want a deep tissue massage.
. Um, but it just, it's really brought us, um, a lot closer. So that's been, that's been, I would, if I could encourage any young mom at even a young, I wish I would've started a much younger with all of them. That's one of the most just, it's like time. It's like, what's going on with you? You know? Right. And you don't have to talk or they could read you a book or, you know, sometimes one of my son doesn't like to talk. I'm like, why don't you read me a couple pages of your favorite book and we'll just sit here and you know, not
01:05:18
Raquel Baldelomar
So that's what you do. You'll just rub his feet and then he'll read, you know? Mm-hmm.
, we'll read the book. Yeah.
He doesn't really like to talk that much. So that's kind of our connection point. Yeah. Yeah. He's the golf, he's the country club.
01:05:28
Raquel Baldelomar
That's how, that's how, yeah. I love how you found you adapted yourself a little bit to connect with their different personalities. Yeah. Because like some kids are more vocal, others are, you know, more physical, but then, you know, other people wanna do activities and that's how you connect.
Right. It's all connection is, that's been the interesting thing. And with all six of the kids, cuz it's like, they're all different connectors. I'm like, okay, which kid am I with? And what do you like in your burrito? You know, it's like they all like different ice noise, you know, all the like different things. So it's keeping them all together on what their way of connection is and then you connecting with it as well.
01:06:05
Raquel Baldelomar
Did you have nannies helping you with Yes. You
Have to. Yeah, I had, um, Veronica, she's been with me so for 18 years. Wonderful. She's like our family. I mean she's, you know, and um, she's like our family and, and her, she had two kids at the time when they came too. So , there's even more of us.
01:06:22
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah.
More of us. Yeah. Cuz it was important that she didn't like leave her kid at home. Well I, she's taking care of my kids. That's not fair. Yeah. You know, so she, we just, we were like,
01:06:33
Raquel Baldelomar
But it is something that it's, it's, I've seen that, you know, running a family is so hard. It's so much work to do. So having that help with nannies or even family members or friends or neighbors, you know, even, you know, is is is so, so important.
Yeah. I have a great, I have a great support team. I really, and I really care about them and I have a great support team. Yeah.
01:07:01
Raquel Baldelomar
We're gonna end with just, uh, asking a few few questions. Um, short questions. What would you say are your top three healthiest habits?
Um, my healthiest habits are my walk in the morning mm-hmm.
, I would say. Mm-hmm. . Um, I would actually say my walk in the morning. I would say, um, I've been doing Pilates lately and I think that's really good because it's strengthening.
01:07:27
Raquel Baldelomar
Pilates looks great.
Yes. The studio, the legree method
01:07:30
Raquel Baldelomar
Specific. You do the actual machines or do you do the mat Pilates?
No, I do leg the legree method. So I don't know if you've done that kind. Oh, it's the hardest.
01:07:39
Raquel Baldelomar
So hard.
Really? It's so hard, but it strengthens me. So I feel like that's really healthy for my body. Mm-hmm.
. Um, and honestly, um, and I've been doing yoga, so those are probably my three top things. I've been really enjoying that. Yeah.
01:07:57
Raquel Baldelomar
A principle that I have is that part of balance is having healthy vices. Mm-hmm.
something that is like not good for you, but that brings you great joy.
01:08:08
Raquel Baldelomar
What would you say are the top three vices that bring you great joy?
I mean, I love shopping
. I, I love like getting, I, I just, like, yesterday I went and got some jeans. I'm like, oh, we just love it. And I just got these shoes and like, beautiful. So I would say retail therapy is way too much mm-hmm. , but I do that. Um, my other vices, I love a glass of wine. I do, I love to sit there and have a glass of wine after, like, and just sit there and chat. That's something I'd love to do.
01:08:39
Raquel Baldelomar
Um, and does that, does it, how does John, you know, knowing that he's sober is does that
He's, He's, you know, he is the most incredible sober person because he's fine with it. He, he loves and he always drives us and everything. Mm-hmm.
. So I, cause I would never, I'm not a, I'm never dangerous around anything like that. But, um, you know, it's interesting, his take on alcohol is like, I don't want it because I, he loves who he is without it. And, um, he's just shifted the narrative on it really. Mm-hmm. on. Like, I don't why I, I don't wanna be the person I am drinking mm-hmm. . So it's like he really is happy in his life. So he's like, why would I drink? Mm-hmm. . It's interesting. Um, and I like that cause it doesn't feel this funny. Yeah. Weird. There's no weirdness
01:09:22
Raquel Baldelomar
There. And it's, it's nice that you can enjoy, you know, that vice and it's, as long as you're not abusing it, you know, for me it's food in many ways, you know? Right. I love, love, love, love obsessed with food. But it's like you can't, as long as you know, just, you know, you know your limits.
Yeah. Yeah. That would be good. And then, um, this is funny, but I'm pretty much vegan. I'm more like Kegan . But
01:09:42
Raquel Baldelomar
What is Kegan?
I think it's, well I, I think made up actually to be honest with you, but it's fish, uhhuh. It's fish and no fish. And then you're vegan besides that. Okay.
01:09:53
Raquel Baldelomar
Oh, okay. Basically, is it pescatarian or, no, because pescatarian,
So is that would get, have dairy
01:09:57
Raquel Baldelomar
In it. Okay. Okay. Okay. And do you feel really just healthier, cleaner?
Well, I mean, I kind of did it because John's actually vegan. Okay. And he's a good cook and I'm a terrible chef. Okay. So he, we kind of did it because of, I mean, I didn't do it, but he, I just kind of naturally kind of mm-hmm.
saw myself step into that. Um, except I just love cheese. So , I just like, and I'll eat it.
01:10:23
Raquel Baldelomar
You're vegan. Except for like, occassional cheese.
Because then it actually makes me sick. Really. Like, I actually
01:10:29
Raquel Baldelomar
Physically don't. So your body's actually telling you, you know, you're, you're, you like the taste of it.
Like I get really congested and, but it's like, wow. And I do it all the time. I'm like, and I go onto the airlines. Like if I go on the airlines in Alaska, they have this cheese plate . And I'm like, he's like, you're doing it again. He's like, you're gonna be sick in like two hours. I'm like, I know, but it's just so good right now. Like for five minutes. And then I'm like, oh shit, I'm gonna be so sick. And then I .
01:10:52
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. That is how alcohol is for me. Like, I can't, like, I, I enjoy it but it just gives me such headaches. I'm such a lightweight.
Yeah. , forget what am I doing this? Yeah.
01:11:01
Raquel Baldelomar
So I know this might seem dark, but a philosophy of mine is that what drives human nature. Mm-hmm.
is a combination of sex, money, and power. What are the three words that motivate you?
Um, the three words that motivate me, I would say connection motivates me. Love really, really motivates me. Um, I would say play like I love to play and laugh. If I know I'm gonna go have a good time in playing and laughing, I am totally motivated. And in
01:11:45
Raquel Baldelomar
That's so good that you allow that, you know, you allow the universe, you know, you, you want to play. That's so important. Cause as we get older, you know, as we get older, like we, we have all the adult responsibilities. Like, we almost like stop learning what it means to play. And if we're kids, it's so natural, it's so easy. But I've seen that it's just as we get, you know, as adults, it's just, it's a lot harder. And you actually, I've had to work harder at like learning how to play. It's a weird,
Yeah. I have some friends like you and they, that's why we're friends. And I always say, don't threaten me with a good time cuz I will take you up on it.
anytime I'm like, oh my god. I'm like the first duck in every pond when you're working a play. I'm like, wow. That's, what do we gonna do? . That's fine. I actually go by my, my right hand and I go by our childhood names. So my child mm-hmm. , like, it's not really a name. It's like our, like our spirit, like our shadows name and which is Daisy is mine and hers is Adelaide. So we literally get in the car like, what that lady doing, Daisy. And we laugh at each other cuz it's like, so we're, we show up and then we show up at our listings. We're like, hi, how are you? And they're like, you guys look like you're having a great day. We're like, we're thinking we're like our five year old's playing and stuff. We're like, we're having a great
01:12:52
Raquel Baldelomar
Day. That's incredible. So that's like the shadow part. Like that's a little girl inside of you. Like the
Little girls, like a little there and she's happy and she's scene and she's just like, ugh. It's really, if I could encourage anyone to get in touch with their shadow and their inner child and and bring them out to their like people.
01:13:09
Raquel Baldelomar
Right. Well, you know, my mother's a union therapist. Okay. So a big part of what she does is work on just shadow work. Okay. See a lot of the shadow work is like negative emotions. It's like, what are the desires? The dark desires. Mm-hmm.
the things that are not socially acceptable, but part of also shadow work is the hidden repressed child. Mm-hmm. that you just pushed down, that didn't grow up. And I think for me that was a big part of it. Like my, you know, it's like I had to grow up very, very fast. So it's like I had to push down my childhood. Like my, the my little girl. I had to like, she had to do very adult things at a very young age. So, so I didn't have a chance to, I wasn't like, I had to grow up very fast. So my little girl, like had to, was like push down and like, as an adult, I actually had to really work through my own therapy and bringing that little girl and play like up, you know, what's the surface?
01:14:01
Raquel Baldelomar
Raquelita.
Raquelita! Raquelita and Daisy are having a playdate.
01:14:07
Raquel Baldelomar
Yes exactly, I love that.
01:14:10
Raquel Baldelomar
So I think that's beautiful that like that.
01:14:14
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. And it's Raquel, it's the spanish. I grew up in Bolivia, so it's like the little girl you knows Raquelita.
01:14:21
Raquel Baldelomar
. What are the very small things you do every day that bring you balance?
I, I, I'm gonna have to say walking. I walking. Um, it's interesting walking, sitting in the rocking chair at night. Mm-hmm.
like I do that is my grandma's old rocking chair. I've gotten it recovered.
01:14:43
Raquel Baldelomar
Really?
A thousand times. It's beautiful.
01:14:45
Raquel Baldelomar
It's your grandmother's chair.
Yeah. Oh. And now it's in crushed velvet. It's so pretty. And um, John has a chair. We feel like the, I'm like, are we like the little bears here? , with their chairs. . Um, honestly, and just like talking like with John, like really, like, I love, like, honestly cuddling with John is probably one of the biggest things for me.
01:15:07
Raquel Baldelomar
It goes back to the physical touch. Yeah. You know, just how like that brings you balance. Just that.
Yeah. I get a little off. It's funny when we're not together at nights, you know, like I'll travel and he'll travel and it's weird. It's like we're both like, oh that and we both never sleep well. Like ever. Really? We're both. Yeah. Yeah. Oh,
01:15:22
Raquel Baldelomar
That's love. I know. So good. But really it's so good
01:15:27
Raquel Baldelomar
What does wealth mean to you?
I think wealth is really, when you're like, to me it's not really money, it's more feeling whole in yourself and also feeling grounded. I think that there's a thing to being grounded and feeling calm and where you are and who you are. It's not about like how much money you have, it's about knowing that you're safe and you're good and that you're clear.
01:15:54
Raquel Baldelomar
That's beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. I've always thought wealth, you know, it obviously is there's, there's an element of being financially just, you know, having that not giving you problems, but also there's so many other forms of wealth, you know, love wealth. Right. Uh, family wealth. Location wealth. Health wealth. Right. So it's, it's important to think, realize that wealth means much more than just Yeah.
01:16:20
Raquel Baldelomar
Money.
01:16:21
Raquel Baldelomar
You and you really are
01:16:25
Raquel Baldelomar
We like to leave our viewers with a meditation on what is an important life lesson that you have learned that is bringing you, that has brought you the greatest amount of balance in your life. Mm-hmm.
.
Um, I mean really just be yourself. That's it. I say it all the time. I'm like, we just have to be ourselves.
01:16:48
Raquel Baldelomar
Hmm. Thank you so much. Is there anything else you would like to leave our viewers with? Tammy?
No, it was so nice to meet you. Raquelita.
01:16:56
Raquel Baldelomar
. Thank you Daisy. We're gonna go and play. Now. I'm gonna call you that all the time, Daisy.
01:17:00
Raquel Baldelomar
Okay.
Okay. I love it. Actually.
01:17:03
Raquel Baldelomar
, where can our viewers find you on social media?
Um, I'm on Instagram at Tami Pardee. Mm-hmm.
Facebook at Tami Pardee or at Pardee Properties at both Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, all of all of them.
01:17:17
Raquel Baldelomar
. Wonderful. Well, thank you so much. Thank you for having us on the mega podcast. And thank you all to our wonderful viewers and listeners, uh, for spending your time with me and for watching. And if you like this podcast, please hit the like and subscribe button and you can also follow us at mega-podcast.com. And thank you again. And until next time.