00:00:19
Raquel Baldelomar
Hi everyone, I'm Raquel Baldelomar and welcome to the Mega Podcast where I speak with high achievers on how they fulfill their professional dreams while maintaining balance throughout their lives. Today we are with my dear friend of seven years. Saad Alessa, a standup comedian based in LA originally from Kuwait. Saad has performed at some of LA's biggest comedy clubs, including the Comedy Store, Laugh Factory, and Hollywood Improv. In 2019, Saad opened for Maz Jobrani in his hometown of Kuwait where he performed in front of 2000 people. He also has his special, Unconventionally Arab, on YouTube covering his performance in Kuwait. His latest work is titled OnDeck Comedy, a speakeasy comedy show that has showcased some of LA's top comedians. Saad is also the producer and host of Legend Diary, a YouTube series with over 1 million views where he interviews people in hopes of inspiring others to become their best selves. Yeah. Saad, welcome to the Mega podcast.
Thank you so much for having me. I can't believe it's been seven years since we met.
00:01:20
Raquel Baldelomar
Can you believe that? It's been seven years and it's been so wonderful to see your journey. Thank you. Just as a comedian and, um, you know, when, um, my team was researching you, we l i I learned something that I had, I didn't even know, uh, when I met you, that you actually went to law school.
Yeah, I I think when we met I was going to law school. School. You
00:01:40
Raquel Baldelomar
Pro. Exactly. Yeah. You you're going to law school. Yeah. And then, so talk about, I think that's really interesting. How do you go from like law school to comedy?
So, it's a very interesting story because I didn't know I was gonna go to law school. I, I, I moved back to Kuwait after I graduated undergrad. Mm-hmm.
. And then, um, after I moved back to Kuwait, I worked for almost a year, quit, uh, my job or left the job that I was in to come back here to pursue something else. A project that I was working on, which was a different industry. Had nothing to do with law, had nothing to do with economy.
00:02:11
Raquel Baldelomar
Automotive, right.
Automotive, correct. And, um, six months in I'm like, okay, well I need more time. How do I buy more time? So I enrolled in law school,
. And how easy is it to get into the school that you already graduated from? Mm-hmm. . So I was like, this shouldn't be a problem. So I interviewed, I got in, and all of a sudden I was in law school. I had no idea why. And,
00:02:29
Raquel Baldelomar
And you didn't even know you wanted to do comedy at this point?
I had no idea I was gonna do comedy. Right. I had no idea what I was studying in law school. Uhhuh
, I chose a program called Dispute Resolution. Yeah. So I got my master's in dispute resolution, so it's not a, a jd. And um, then as I was graduating law school, like completing my program, my professor, like our thesis professor who like decides that you're ready to go and was like, I think if you're not gonna do criminal law, you should try entertainment. And I was like, what? And he was like, yeah, try entertainment. And I was like, was like, what do you mean? Tim was like, comedy or like something with television. You'd be great. And I was like, this guy's nuts. Really? So then like a few weeks go by, I'm in Santa Monica, um, and I'm like walking by third Street and I'm, I see the West Side Comedy Club and it says Open mic night.
And I was with a friend from law school and I'm like, should we just check out what's going on? And she's like, yeah. So we go in and I sit down and I see an open mic nine and I'm like, I think I can do this. So I come back the following Saturday with like a two minute set. I put my name in the bucket, I get up on stage, it went well cuz there was a crowd. It was beginner's luck. So like, there was a crowd from the past show. Oh. Which is a good thing because you don't want to perform the first time in front of other comedians. Mm-hmm. , like, when it's a real crowd, it's like a confidence booster. And they got, they were engaged. I had a good set and I was like, wow, this is great. So I'm gonna, I came back every Saturday for six months. You
00:03:47
Raquel Baldelomar
Try that. And that's where you said like, you realized, like, this feels like home, like performing on stage actually feels comfortable to you.
I w I wouldn't say the first time felt like home. I'd say like, it was very like a new experience that I liked Uhhuh
. It was like, you know how people that surf go like, oh, you, you got bit by the bug. It was that I was like, okay, I can do this again. I can do this again. I can do this again. And then when I bombed, like I think the second or third said, I was trying, it was horrible. I was like, ouch, I wanna do this again. And then it's just like, I kept doing it for six months every Saturday. And then I was like, okay, I'm gonna move out of where I was living on the west side closer to the comedy clubs to do this on a daily basis. Mm-hmm. and that's when Yeah.
00:04:27
Raquel Baldelomar
But does that, I mean, did you feel like, wow, like I wanna basically, I realize this is what I wanna do. Comedy, I feel great on stage. I wanna perf like, improve my performance on stage. What was that process like? Did go from like, going from like law school, you know, just getting your masters in law Yeah. To being like comedy. Yeah.
It's such a, it was a big transition and I, I had no idea what I wanted to do with it. And I remember telling my mom about it and she was so confused on what's going on. She's like, what about the automotive project? Mm-hmm. What mm-hmm.
. I'm like, I don't know, like, this just feels good right now, so I'm gonna continue doing this cuz it feels good. Yeah. And um, I just realized, I, so here's the, the, the, when you asked me like, did I ever think I was gonna do comedy, uh, there's a story. When I graduated undergrad 2014, I went to New York before moving back to Kuwait to just see New York. Cuz I've only been there once before and I never really experienced it. As I'm walking back from all the tourist stuff alone, going to my hotel room with like souvenirs, magnets and flyers.
I don't know what I was holding. Some gentleman walks out of Radio City goes, Hey, do you wanna see Dave Chappelle live right now? And at the time I knew who Dave Chappelle was, and it was just after he came back from Africa, his 10 year hiatus situation. And I was like, you're kidding. What's the catch? Like, I thought he was trying to hustle some tickets or something. And he goes, no, my, my girlfriend broke up with me. I was supposed to watch it with her. I have an extra ticket. You're the first person I saw. Wow. . And I look at him, I'm like, what's the catch? And he goes, there is no catch. Do you wanna watch the show or not? It's about start and this security woman comes out and she goes, honey, I ain't got time for this. You coming in or not? I'm like, is he for real? She's like, yeah, he's for real. So I go in and we're sitting front row center, like the, the middle two seats, Dave Chappelle comes out and I'm like, this is a great trip. I'm having a great time . And uh,
00:06:11
Raquel Baldelomar
It's a sign, its a sign's a sign from the universe.
And that was like three years before law school. Uhhuh
. Right. Okay. But I remember that show when Dave Chappelle closed. I was like, wow, there's power in whatever he just did. Mm-hmm. , because I had no, I wasn't a fan of standup. I didn't watch a lot of standup. I used to watch conversations and be like, I don't have time to listen to someone talk. But that touched me. And I was like, there's power in what he did. I love it. So then when I tried it, those two incidents connected. I was like, I see that we can make change, we can help improve society, we can talk about things other people don't want to talk about. Especially being where I'm from, I had a lot that I wanted to tell, especially in America. Right. So,
00:06:48
Raquel Baldelomar
So you really almost have used your law background. Like one of the things I really appreciated about you in just following you on Instagram over the years is just, you know, you have a real, you're, you're you, you're always studying, you're always learning, you're writing, you're reading. You're always, so you really have this very deep intellectual backbone. And I think that actually fuels your comedy, which I think it makes your comedy even just more powerful. So I, I've always appreciated that cuz I, I appreciate, you know, we can get a little bit more into kind of the kinds of comedy and like, but you know, I feel like your comedy's very intellectual. It's so, so I and I resonate with that versus more of some more the physical slapstick comedy. Right. So it's great to see how you're actually using just like, just the, you know, you're some of the, and so a lot of your, you know, like Dave Chappelle, he goes into a lot of political, you know, showcasing some of the hypocrisy just of our culture of society and uses that into his comedy bits. Yeah. I think that's amazing.
Thank you so much. I honestly don't know how to handle compliments, but I'm working on that , I really appreciate it.
00:07:52
Raquel Baldelomar
. I'll give you a lot of criticism too.
Yeah, yeah. Please. Yeah. But, uh, I appreciate it. I try, I try because, uh, you know, especially when you start out your first year of two years in comedy, you, you, or I'm just gonna talk about my experience. I was writing for the crowd. Right. I was like, what are they gonna think is funny, you know? Well,
00:08:09
Raquel Baldelomar
You use a lot of puns and I, you know, and I don't wanna give away some of your comedy and I you can, you can say it, but like, one of the my favorite pieces of like, you, you have a bit where you can talk about like, I'm gonna like you talk about getting, uh, bullied in uh, New Hampshire. Right, right. And you talk about like, your I'm gonna fuck you versus fuck you up. Yeah,
00:08:27
Raquel Baldelomar
Know, and I mean, you can tell the audience a little bit more.
I, I used to, I mean, I was, because I used, I went to a summer camp, um, in New Hampshire and uh, one of my good friends, Trevor, was from Canada and we became good friends after that incident. But I remember like, he would always correct me like when I was like getting angry, we're playing softball or something. Cuz I didn't even know the rules of softball. It's such a strange game. And uh, like I'm this Arab in New Hampshire learning softball with people who are so serious about softball. And they'd be like, come on, Saad like, hit it. Just hit the ball. I'm like, I'm trying. And I would get so mad. I'm like, dude, I'm gonna fuck you so hard. And they're like, fuck you up, sod, it's up the up makes a difference. . And I remember, like, I just like learned that. So then one day I was like, writing, I'm like, what happened? I'm like, oh, that's like, I try to write true stories. I don't like to come up with incidents that are made up. So I like to keep my comedy truthful.
00:09:19
Raquel Baldelomar
But it's also, in terms of style, I mean it's very much language driven. Like even like in your, you had a bit, and you know,
That's not intellectual. So
00:09:27
Raquel Baldelomar
It's a language though. Yeah. I think it's language. And I, as a writer, like I appreciate like word play. Mm-hmm.
, you know, and, and I mean even like, uh, you had a bit in, uh, your comedy at the Laugh Factory, which, uh, to all you watching, Saad recently, uh, was, uh, one of the just one of the regulars. Comic regulars, yeah. At the Laugh Factory in Hollywood, which is a huge achievement. Thank you. So, uh, but one of your bits when was totally improvd was just like somebody mentioned they were like only 10% Palestinian. Yeah. And you like really put, like, you, you made a joke about the 10% part. Yeah. You know, so again, I think that's language that's to me is, is is is a very like, intellectual form of comedy. Thank you. Which I think is really interesting.
00:10:09
Raquel Baldelomar
What would, would you consider your, like, style of comedy? You know, in terms of like, what kind of, what do you like to focus on as a comedian?
I'd say sociopolitical. Mm-hmm.
, I mean mm-hmm. , you know, I, I feel like being in Kuwait raised by a Palestinian mother and a Kuwaiti father, I saw a discrepancy between what it's like to be from a place and what it's like to be an immigrant in a place, even though you grew up there. And so I feel like noticing that, especially that my parents were divorced at an early age, I'm able to quickly see like when things are imbalanced in society and I like to mention these situations on stage and talk about them and shed a light on them. So I think between society and politics, there's a very like, clear parallel. And I think even in a household, there's politics. So like, it's just, I feel like it's one topic. So I'd say like I'm sociopolitical.
00:11:03
Raquel Baldelomar
Sociopolitical. Yeah. And do you focus on a lot of just the, uh, the racism, the hardships of Arabs, would you say? Is that what you like to focus on? Or is it a little bit broader?
I wouldn't say I like to focus on it. I feel like when I first started, I felt that was like the default. Mm-hmm.
, it was easy to talk about these things. But now I, I'm working on a new special, not that the last one was officially a special. It was just me opening and I just used it and put it on YouTube as a short comedy special. But I'm writing a special called Tie Your Camel. And what again, tie your camel.
00:11:34
Raquel Baldelomar
Tie Your camel. Yeah. Okay.
In that hour that I'm hoping to do once I'm back in Kuwait, I'm gonna discuss the parallels of what it was like to be an immigrant in American and how I now understand what it was like for my mother's sacrifice to be an immigrant in Kuwait. And how the issue is the same no matter where you are in the world. Mm-hmm.
, whether it's a progressive state, quote unquote, or like, uh, are we dealing with Western values, middle Eastern values, and then shed light on political issues that we're dealing in involving the hypocrisy of the world. Yeah. So I think of it as a thesis. It's complex and then I simplify it. I work backwards, if that makes sense.
00:12:09
Raquel Baldelomar
How, so like when you think about the, the working backwards part, describe like your, the, the process, the process of like how you're writing a new comedy. Just, uh,
So I don't know my writing process exactly because it changes every year. Uhhuh,
, like my first three years I would sit down and try to write comedy and it worked. Sometimes
00:12:29
Raquel Baldelomar
Like you you say like pen and paper, like on Instagram you said like, the best thing of all men is is, and I love that I'm a huge writer as, I mean, diaries I think is so important. So yeah. So you, so you just write your, like your Okay. What you're thinking, what you wanna, like, what your bits are. You're gonna put that on paper.
Yeah. Like, I like, yeah. Like I'll just, like, for example, I was writing a bit about my therapist who dropped me and I'm like, okay, therapy dropped me.
00:12:53
Raquel Baldelomar
Your therapist dropped you?
Yeah. He, he said, I didn't need therapy, which is a red flag,
. So I don't know. But I haven't been back to therapy since, and life has gotten better. So I'm not saying get out of therapy, I'm just saying find a good therapist. Yes. Anyways, I hope he doesn't listen to this. He's a good guy. Whatever the point is. , um, I was writing and it's like, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Cuz sometimes I'll be walking or having a conversation like this one mm-hmm. and I'll say something and I'm like, oh, it clicked, here's a punchline and I'll go ahead and write it. But when I'm talking about a piece, like when I, like, there's jokes that I write that I only do in clubs, but these aren't the ones that I think of as bits that I'm proud of, or like ones that I want to put out if we're having cameras on.
00:13:34
Raquel Baldelomar
But you also talk about, like, for your Unconventionally Arab show you that you performed in front of 2000 people in Kuwait. Right. You were heavily censored. Yes. So you really, I mean, you were saying like, you know, I can't talk about sex, drugs, politics, religion, religion. Yeah. That's my entire bit. Yeah.
But we talked about all of those
00:13:53
Raquel Baldelomar
, without talking about it,
Without talking about it, you know, there's, I feel like that's our job as comedians is to figure out where's the line and how do we get really close to the line and maybe if we can cross the line mm-hmm.
, because I think I, I'm not really much for censorship. Like I don't really understand the concept of censorship. Maybe in, in a, you know, for children I can understand, but in terms of adults sitting in a room, I feel like we should be able to discuss anything and have the respect and the a apprehension and the patience to deal with and the tolerance to deal with someone that has a different opinion, opinion points. Right. Otherwise, what are we really doing as a society? Because we don't have a political system that has worked for us so far. We are, there's, it's, the world is in a very bad place and it's in very bad shape. And I know there's a lot of good news, and I'm not a pessimist, but I'm saying when you look at the global situation, the global economics and the global politics, it's falling to shit. So I feel like it's our job as comedians to discuss these things and shed light on them them and maybe help push the pendulum one way or another.
00:14:53
Raquel Baldelomar
But I also think as an immigrant myself Yeah. Like, you know, having grown up in Bolivia, third world country, it very corrupt. Was there the first 10 years of my life. Like, one of the things that I appreciate living here in the United States as flaws as it is, is like we have freedom of speech. You know, we have, and and even, you know, we do have a freedom of speech much more so than some of like, you know, like
The Middle Eastern countries.
00:15:18
Raquel Baldelomar
Exactly. Yeah. So, but even with, even with the freedom of speech that we have that I'm so in and the opportunities that we have, you know, is, um, I do feel like the cancel culture has almost made, allowed you to censor yourself. I know, I, I speak with a lot of comedians who say they've almost had to censor themselves mm-hmm.
because of things like, they really wanna say it's quote not politically correct to say. So as someone who doesn't believe in censorship, how do you also balance like where we are in our society with like cancel culture with also like, you have like your right of freedom of speech. So I, it is a balance.
So I'm, I'm, I'm trying to figure out where you're taking me this question. Are we discussing balance or are we discussing freedom of speech? I
00:16:02
Raquel Baldelomar
Think we're, I think we're talking freedom of speech. Okay. And then, but also recognizing that there's a balance that, that that freedom of speech you have, you know, as a comedian you wanna go on stage and be able to say whatever you wanna say. Mm-hmm.
. But then we also are living, I think in a, in this cancel culture where you say something that's not exact poli things like George Carlin mm-hmm. would've said, you know, which I also found super funny. Like he probably would've gotten canceled in some ways in if he was living in today's,
You think so? I don't, I I don't know.
00:16:31
Raquel Baldelomar
You don't? You don't think
So? No, I don't think he would've gotten canceled. I think he was close to getting canceled and like they thought he fell off mm-hmm.
after the whole drug addiction thing and what was going on. But then he came back, I feel like as a comedian, so to answer your question first, um, I don't think I give weight to cancel culture at all, so long as I'm being truthful to who I am. Mm-hmm. , right? It's easy to see a trending topic and want to jump on a bandwagon and discuss it because it's a hot topic. But when, when you don't have skin in it and you're not part of it and you don't fully understand it, then you might be crossing into territory that you're gonna deal with. Backfire you can't really handle. But if it's something that's true to you and something that's like part of your perspective and your identity, then by all means, I don't think you should be afraid to, to speak your truth. Um, do you know what I'm trying to say? Yeah, I do. Like do I do, I
00:17:21
Raquel Baldelomar
So you don't even try, you don't think about, oh, you know, this is some other comedians I speak with. Just say, I I feel like I can't really be truthful or honest about some of the things I really wanna get into.
No. Cuz the moment I start doing that, I feel like I shouldn't be a standup comic. Okay. Then I'm not doing my art form justice. Mm-hmm.
. And to me, my art form comes first because canceled culture is shifting. It's, it's everything in society comes in waves. Mm-hmm. , we go to conservative ideologies, then we go to liberal ideologies, then we go back and it's like always a pendulum. So if I'm gonna base my career on what's important now and what the majority of people think today, that I'm not really thinking strategically about my long longevity in the game. I want to be true to myself and have a true opinion. Whereas like anyone who watches me today or in five years goes, you know, like he's always said that that's his opinion. It hasn't changed or it did change. I respect that I'm a human being and I'm learning and I'm constantly changing my opinion about stuff that I used to believe in.
So like, why do I have to wait till my opinion seems perfect before I can share it? As long as it's funny. Mm-hmm. , I'm not here telling people like news. I'm here making jokes. So if it's funny and it holds an opinion that is true to me and it's like in a way sophisticated enough to come out in a, in a, cuz the art is, is standup is an art form. So like, if I approach it as an art, but it's true to me and I also give it the respect that it deserves and write a, a, a, um, well put together joke. I don't see why I should be worried about what other people are gonna think. Mm-hmm. , I would think the other way around. If I'm gonna constantly be afraid and not talk about topics that I think are gonna cancel me, then I'm never really gonna tap into my truth. Therefore, I'm no longer a comedian attracting a crowd. I'm a comedian working for the crowd. Yeah. So I feel like it's, that's what I got out of George Carlin's career for sure. And he's my favorite comedian. He didn't worry about what he might lose in the process. Every specialty. He lost some people and he gained some new
00:19:15
Raquel Baldelomar
Freedom. Every, I mean, and every single comedian that I I, you know, follow really that has all, I mean that there's people, you know, even even Dave Chappelle, he got a lot of flack, you know, for some of his Netflix, you know, specials where he equivalent into L L G B T, you know, where he talked about things like that. Right. But still, he was staying true to himself. So you also have to be, I think you have to have a really thick skin to say, you know what, some people are not gonna like you, some people may just find what you have to say offensive or wrong, but it's like you have to just be, you re I feel like you have to have a very strong foundation of who you are so
That you, you have to know who you are. Say don't fault for
00:19:52
Raquel Baldelomar
Anything. Right. You can then withstand the criticism wherever a hundred percent, wherever it comes.
Yeah. As long as you're not going out there and just promoting hate speech or trying to like hurt anyone. Which is really difficult for a comedian to do. Like given the context, being in a comedy club, making a joke, laughing about it. A lot of people understand the context. It's just some people just look for problems in anything. And there's the same people that are gonna look for problems in other stuff. So I'm not gonna cater to them, if that makes sense.
00:20:20
Raquel Baldelomar
Do you consider yourself somewhat of an activist, an activist for people, Arabs, people who are immigrants in this country? I know you, you, um, you have a beautiful post that you, um, that you wrote on Instagram. I'm gonna say Yeah. For anyone carrying a heavy load on their shoulders for anyone who has experience injustice, racism, hardship, immigration battles. You're not alone. I can't wait to be a helping hand for everyone. But for now, do not give up and do not give in. Mm-hmm.
, I mean, in a way. And when I see a lot of, also, you know, what you've done. You're not just a comedian. I don't think of you as just a comedian. You know, you're in a way, you're an activist, you are a writer, you're a thinker. You, you know, you have this great mind and I think you're, you know, you have your podcast, you have all these series, these docu-series, you're producing these shows. So, so, you know, it's, and and I think also part of balance is, is about like caring, wearing multiple roles really. Well, it's not just one role that you have in your life. Yeah.
I think if I think of myself in an, as an activist, I don't know. Cuz that's, that seems like a very noble label and I think a lot of people are doing a lot more than I'm doing. So I think there are people who are activists, they know everything about everything, and they're working towards helping everyone and you know, so I don't want to take away from what they're doing, but I do think of myself as someone who is just in touch with the world. I, if I see something is wrong and I think it's wrong and I need to shed light on it, I'm going to, and
00:22:00
Raquel Baldelomar
You use your, uh, comedy platform to
Show, I use my comedy, I use my conversations, I use my friends. Like I'm, there's no right place to say the right thing, you know? So I, I, I don't think of myself as an activist, but I do think of myself as someone who's willing to help if there's a problem. Because someone like me being an immigrant living in America, the 11 years that I've been here, the trials and tribulations of trying to live here, and now I see things in a different lens. I, you know, I grew up in a country where I could have stayed and had a comfortable job, gotten a salary, gotten married, done all the right things by society and not have to lose sleep over anything. But I chose to come here, not only let go of a career path that was gonna be fiscally positive, but started doing comedy and you know, and just went through what I went through. So I definitely sympathize more with people that aren't from places that are going after something. And even if it's a place that they haven't left, but they're getting invaded. Like I, you know, like what's happening in Iran now, it's very sad. And my heart goes out to the Iranian people and I, I just feel I'm a human being and I feel, and I like to read and I like to learn. And the more I know, the more realize, the less I know. It's like,
00:23:20
Raquel Baldelomar
Do you think there needs to be more just people who are from the Middle East explaining like really what is happening in the Middle East? Like what's happening in Iran? And it kind of be to who? To Americans.
I don't think they care really, to be honest. I really don't think they care. If you wanna go down that path, let's have this conversation. But I don't think anybody cares. I think some people care, but, but trying to sh to explain the Middle Eastern perspective to the west is,
00:23:51
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah.
Doesn't matter. We've seen prime examples of,
00:23:55
Raquel Baldelomar
Well you've been a big, you know, fan of Robert Green. I know you talk about the book Mastery.
He's my favorite author. He's,
00:24:01
Raquel Baldelomar
He's such a great author and I mean, I love, um, love him. I'm trying to get him on the show. Robert, if you're watching this ,
Robert, if you're watching this, I'll come. I'll, I'll, I'll, yeah.
00:24:12
Raquel Baldelomar
Um, and, but you know, one of the things like, you know, reading his latest book talking about human nature, I mean it's, it's self-interest, you know? Mm-hmm.
, it's, it's, I mean, so you're right. And in many ways is that it's like people are so focused on just themselves. They don't, you know, they don't think about what's happening to their neighbors, much less what's happening to people. Right. Just down, you know, just, just in the Middle East. So I, I see your point, but it's also, I do think that to make, you know, it's, it's, um, I've always believed in this Picasso quote that says, like, the purpose of life is to find your gift. Mm-hmm. and the meaning of life is to give your gift away.
00:24:49
Raquel Baldelomar
And it's, you know, we know that in many, you know, I I've read about your viewpoint on society and you're not, you don't have a very fond viewpoint of just society in general.
00:24:59
Raquel Baldelomar
Don't. You I know. And I think, yeah, I know that. And I, in a way, I think it also like, um, it's things, I've also seen it with other just comedians like, it, there, there's a darkness. You know, they, there's, there's not always like this happy joy. Oh, the world is great, everything's roses. I mean, and that's where a lot of like their comedy is like they, it's focused on it. They ex explore that darkness. Um, but I also think going back to just that, like that vein of just what is finding your purpose of life and then finding their meaning of life is giving it away, is that it's, I think as individuals who are trying to make a difference, it's that as we can try to find like, what is our purpose in life mm-hmm.
and then, um, you know, how can we give it away? Not trying to get me money from it, but just really giving it away. And I don't know, I just think with your background, like of where you come from, um, you have an opportunity to kind of talk about just what is happening to, people may not be ready or wanting to hear it, but
To be clear, I didn't mean like, I'm not going to do that. I'm by all means doing that. I just meant the people that want to listen Will, will listen mm-hmm.
, but I'm not gonna shove it down anyone's throat. Right. Like, I'm not going to go, Hey, you guys need to care. That used to be me. Not anymore. This is if you, if you care enough to go and do it does. I don't need to put out a special about the Middle East for people to understand what's going on in the Middle East. There are so many books you can get on a flight and go there and meet people and have conversations. And that's the best way to learn about the history of a place and the culture. You can grab lunch with people that are different than your, you know, routine friends. You can go out of your way and try to understand. So the people who want to know will find a way to know. And the people who don't want to know will live in the bubble that they live in. Mm-hmm. . I'm just, just waiting for the next ice age and we're good to go. Honestly, I'm, I'm
00:26:46
Raquel Baldelomar
Here. You may die before
That happens. I, I mean, yeah. But yeah, I hope so. Um, cuz that would be traumatizing and cold. I'm not really a fan of the cold.
00:26:55
Raquel Baldelomar
Oh, that's why you moved to la. Yeah. So what has living in LA the last 11 years been like for you? Because I've been here 12 years, so we've been kind of similar. Oh yeah. I mean, and then you went back to Kuwait for a while.
00:27:09
Raquel Baldelomar
You went and then you came back. Yeah. It sucked you back in.
Yeah. . It's been a mess. It's been a mess. A good, beautiful mess.
00:27:16
Raquel Baldelomar
It's a good, beautiful mess. Yeah. I mean, and this is like one of the things that, um, I have seen about living in LA and you know, and, and you know, unlike you, I didn't come from another country, even though I'm from an or another country. Right. Like, I, I, I came here knowing nobody, but I moved my business here a bit. I've realized that you have to be like so grounded. You have actually a really wonderful post in your, one of your Instagrams that it really resonated with me
Because it's Instagram account. I'm gonna have to close it. You
00:27:46
Raquel Baldelomar
Have to Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone, this is all on, uh, Saad's Instagram account,
. Um, talk about where is the, you talk about this concept of just to go fast, you have to go slow mm-hmm. . And I think that's one thing, then thing about LA like la it's very fast. Like you, you know, to do well and like, you gotta operate at a very fast level. Right. But I think what I, what's helped me succeed here for the last 12 years and build my two businesses and try to manage all of my other writing projects, my podcasts and, you know, my, my own self-care is like finding those times to go really slow mm-hmm. , because that allows me to go really fast. And I think when you, you know, you wrote about that Yeah. Like having your motocross racer teacher tell you that. Right. I found that really fascinating. And I think that's a great metaphor to just, to make it in a big city. Like la like if you wanna go fast, you have to know how to go slow. Mm-hmm. .
00:28:43
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. So, so I think that's been, for me, an experience of just like what it takes to succeed in this city because it is chaotic. There's, it's a lot of chaos. I mean, it's, it's, it's beautiful. It's messy, it's sexy, it's glamorous, but it's also, it's, it's like, you know, LA is very gritty and it's dark and
Sometimes life forces you to go slow. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and that's what I've come to realize. Yeah. And to embrace it and be okay with stillness and patient and be calm.
00:29:15
Raquel Baldelomar
And even like you, you know, you talk about when say life forces you to go slow, you, uh, recently had surgery right. For your leg, right? Yeah. You broke your leg mm-hmm.
00:29:27
Raquel Baldelomar
And that, and you had to go through surgery. Yeah. And I'm sure that created some, just
So do you want me to discuss what happened or, I'm, I'm, you can, we started with LA and living here for 11 years and
00:29:42
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. Let's start with LA I mean, we can go so many different ways. So let's, what has just been LA been like for you?
When I was working on the automotive project, one of the designers that I worked with told me, home is not where you're from, it's where you find yourself. Mm-hmm.
and I found myself in la Yeah. So who I've become as an adult has been accumulation of those 11 years in la right? Mm-hmm. , whether it was law school, the automotive project, um, undergrad training, jiujitsu full-time and trying to compete doing standup comedy. So I'm always gonna feel like there's a part of me that's grateful to have lived here, but it's also tested me in ways that I've never thought I'd actually be tested or I've surprised myself to be honest. And so it's a love-hate relationship. It's, it's almost like family. Mm-hmm. You know, it's not always gonna be, sometimes it's, it's the, it's the storm and sometimes it's the weather from the storm mm-hmm. . And so that's how I would summarize my experience with la. Um, I don't think I could ever not visit or not live here for a little bit, but I don't think I wanna die here, that's for sure. You know? Mm-hmm. , um,
00:30:58
Raquel Baldelomar
You have to get away Yeah. For it to, for you to also realize the beauty it has, but also when you, when you're in it, it, it sucks. It's, it's, it's, it's chaos.
Yeah. So that's my relationship with la. Okay. 11 years.
00:31:13
Raquel Baldelomar
What, uh,
00:31:15
Raquel Baldelomar
. What has been, uh, so you talk about this, the, the pain. You know, you've been going through some, a lot of moments of like rehab mm-hmm. and, uh, you, you know, you say this great line, uh, that says we go through life trying to avoid both physical and emotional pain. But if there's anything that I've learned is that in pain lies information. Mm-hmm. pain points us towards a problem that needs solving. And in solving that problem, we are forced to use our intelligence and grow pain slows down time, gives us an opportunity to reflect and sits still at times where we wouldn't have otherwise. Only by paying attention to your pain. Can you still discover your bliss self-transcendence or curses through suffering? Mm-hmm. . I mean, that's, that's like, you can write books between all these little Instagram posts. Yeah. Like, you can almost, like, you're all a processor right now.
I'm just impatient . Oh, believe me, I'm working on my second book right now. Yeah. And it's a lot of work. Yeah. And that's, that's, you have to learn how to be patient. But, but I think, you know, so I mean, I can feel just the emotion through a lot of this writing that's beautiful. But, you know, there is, there's a lot of people in this world, in LA and everywhere in this, everywhere who have their own form of pain that they're looking for some guidance. Like, how do we deal with this? Like, what, how do I get through this pain? Whether it's like physical ailment or emotional or something. I, and I think, I don't know, I think that being, you know, that's through pain. Like even just through this is part why I'm working on my, my, my second book. Mm-hmm. , it's like I'm, I'm, there's material in the pain mm-hmm. and, and through that material you can actually bring light. Right.
I think first of all, I think life is pain period. I know it sounds Yeah. Dark, but it is,
00:33:02
Raquel Baldelomar
Life is suffering. It suffering Mendel like, uh, the Victor Frankl book, you know, the, the, you know, the meanings book. I mean that's,
00:33:11
Raquel Baldelomar
Men's search for meaning. That's right.
Um, life is pain. And even religiously, like in, in the Quran being a Muslim, like that's something like life is supposed to be hardship. Mm-hmm.
. And if you think of any of the great Abrahamic religions, it's the same concept. And, um, in many books, many self-help books. So I've, I've come to accept that and the moment that I've come to accept that, I've been able to sit with myself and go, okay, this is a hard time. We've been there, we're gonna get through this as well. And that's just part of life. And therefore I don't struggle to try to control the outcome of the pain. Mm-hmm. , you know, but I do believe that pain is a beautiful teacher. So I, I tried to change my perspective and go, you know, like when I broke my leg, one of my friends called me and she was like, you know, like, this could be a time for you to figure out who are you without your physical ability.
And I was like, whoa, that's a deep question. Because someone like me who is constantly training and I love to work out mm-hmm. , like I'm always at jujitsu or running and like, who am I? What, how do you feel that I'm, that you're progressing in life when you can't do the things that give you meaning and breath and you know, like help you feel present? Cuz I don't really meditate. So like, that's my form of meditation. So when I wasn't able to do that for three months, I was like, yeah, who am I? What am I, what am I doing with my life, my body and stuff? Okay. Comedy. I can't do that now. So what does that mean? Does that mean like, I'm worthless? So I had to like really dig deep and figure out what I was trying to figure out what, what's this pain trying to teach me about myself.
And then I realized I'm someone who knows who he is and I'm someone who will continue to work towards, um, my inclinations and my passions. And I'm someone who walks towards challenges until my time's up. And I was like, okay, great. I'm happy with that definition for now. That's what it's trying to teach me. So as much as it was hard for me, and it was like really hurtful because I, you know, like I'm here to do standup and now I can't do standup. I'm here to train and, and feel good about math and I can't do that. Mm-hmm. . So now I'm just this immigrant in the house, confused on what's happening tomorrow. Nothing's happening, nothing's moving. There's no motion. There's no progress. I'm addicted to progress and so what am I doing? So I just invested my time reading and writing and I was like, okay, so I am someone who's dynamic.
I'm someone who's adaptable and I'm just human. And I realize like, we're so small, we're, we're nothing in the universe. So I think when I realized that I became more in tune and more powerful in a way because by zooming out and looking at myself as this like little tiny person who wants to change the world and do all of that, and so angry when things don't go his way, now all of a sudden I'm like completely just stuck. But also like, it's beautiful to be stuck because now I'm like looking within and I have all these things that I wanna share, like you said the Picasso court. And I'm like, okay, so when I'm not stuck, that's what I'm gonna do. And then when I'm stuck, I'm just gonna accept being stuck and being slowed down and being forced to like look within and read the books that I didn't have time to read and like, you know. Yeah. I just became a nicer person to myself and others.
00:36:09
Raquel Baldelomar
Do you think you weren't nice before?
I was. I think I'm, I'm just very, um, future oriented. I'm very like, I don't have time. I would say I don't have time. Yes. Yes. I know. All my friends say, you always say you don't have time. I'm always late. I'm always stressed. But it's like, I have time. You
00:36:24
Raquel Baldelomar
Have, you know, and you talk about this that I find this is, this is beautiful. This is another post that I really
Love what you said. Oh my God, what is this post?
00:36:31
Raquel Baldelomar
You're gonna have to, I mean this is, you're gonna have to, I'm already Alec, you know, because you've read about a lot of this stuff and this is really why I wanted you on this show is that, um, you know, the show's about balance. And I wanna, I wanna get your, I wanna get into balance. Cause I, we had an interesting kind of in our pre-production call about what you thought about that. But you also, like, you, you're a deep thinker, like you and not everybody has that. And especially in our society. I see it and you know, in this Instagram society where people are always like writing, you know, just very short pieces like, you know, it's, it's like you, you, you have to really try to understand and do well in this world. You gotta understand the nuance. You gotta, you know, you have to go deep.
Right. So you said this about this symbiosis between the two tenses at any given time. So you wrote doing standup. I came to understand the formula of progress and growth and its relation to the tenses past, present, and future. Hmm. It's such an interesting symbiosis between two tenses at any given time. Mm-hmm.
, when you're performing, you're planning ahead, but you're also very much alive in the present and in the moment. Yeah. Aware of your delivery tone, speed and speech. Once you're done, you revisit your tape of your recording and relive the past while being self-critical in the present to better your future performance. Yeah. Isn't that what we all strive to do in our lives? To better ourselves, realize the value of being present while also planning ahead, reflect on our own shortcomings, learn from them, and plan to do better next time. Repetition inevitably breeds growth and confidence. The repetition with critical self-awareness breeds mastery. Mm-hmm. ,
00:38:10
Raquel Baldelomar
You wrote that.
00:38:12
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. And see this is the thing is that sometimes in those moments of like slowing down of like really kind of like, what is the essence of like why we are here, essence of life, essence of time is like recognizing that symbiosis between those two, those tenses of time, the past, present, and the feature. That's really interesting. So when you like put that into those words, I really thought about it, it's like, at what point are we like in the past mm-hmm.
in the present or the future. And that symb is really interesting and, and in order to really like to get understand that fully, you gotta like slow things way down. And that's, and, and I mean that's why I'm such a firm believer in meditation. Like, I'm such a firm believer in like, in like to go fast. Like, you know, you you to go fast on this highway of life. Like, you, you can't, like you, you gotta you gotta go be able to go really slow.
Right. You need to recharge.
00:39:04
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. And I think that's, I think, and then when you can understand just those, like what time is, you know, and recognize that it's not exactly linear mm-hmm.
, but it's like, like looking back at your past self to be able to better your future self and what does that mean in the present? Mm-hmm. , I don't know. I just think that requires an ability to slow down and, and, and we are so like focused on like, multitasking and trying to get things done in progress where, you know, without that like that like slowing down, you can't really, you can't really do that.
Yeah. I think standup is, was a great teacher and is a great teacher for me. I think I, I've, I've understood life better because of it, you know, because it's such, like, even now in this interview, I'm like, am I making sense? Am I even like giving you what you're asking for? I don't know. Like, but this is the moment mm-hmm.
, so I'm like thinking about the next question. Yeah. But I'm also thinking about the last answer. But I'm trying to also be present, be present. So it's like, what am mind fuck, this is so like, being on stage, like when they call your name sometimes I'm like, I wish I was two minutes ago, like Collins say two minutes ago. Like, could that affect like, and so like, I read this book, the Confident Mind and it completely changed my perspective on performance, on how to like channel nerves and switch the perspective to excitement, but also be like, cuz like when I did the show that you came to at the Laugh Factory, this is one, this was one of my best performances of my life that I like, walked off. And I was like, wow,
00:40:36
Raquel Baldelomar
Audience loved you. Yeah. Yeah.
And I was like, how do I just keep doing that? And the answer is repetition, but also it's not always gonna work in my favor. It's being
00:40:45
Raquel Baldelomar
In the moment too, you
Know? Right. Yeah. Being in the moment. But also, I wasn't fully in the moment because I'm also like listening to what audience saying and I'm getting re like, so I'm also like, my critic and my former are both on stage, but I need to learn to tell the critic that you don't, you can take information, but don't share it with me while I'm on stage. Mm-hmm.
, we can discuss this later. And so, but also the critic is alive because he is like, okay, this person said 10%, what's your response? So I'm like, in this like meeting
00:41:12
Raquel Baldelomar
Room, you're like improv, like you are, yeah. You're making a joke out of that moment right there, which was brilliant.
Right. But at the same time, I'm like, I can't let him talk too loud because then I'm like so focused. Yeah. So it's like almost I have to let go, but then am I really present? So that's where this post came from. It's like the symbiosis of like being in, in this like flow state mm-hmm.
because you're like on autopilot, but you're also the pilot. So like that, that's where I'm like trying to figure out how to like constantly be in that position where I'm like in aware enough to be in control, but also having so much fun that I'm not aware of how much control I'm having.
00:41:53
Raquel Baldelomar
Do you think that's what is required to be a good performer? Is that, is that what you think you need to do to, to be a really good performer on stage, is to constantly be like tracking your presence self versus what you just said versus the future?
That feels like a lot. No, no, but I, i, I do think it's just enjoying it. Mm-hmm.
, like, I think when you enjoy something and you just do it a lot, that happens naturally. So that's what the confident mind was talking about. Mm-hmm. , the neurons in your brain that start building up and like, okay, like, okay, you're confident enough, it's fine. So like all of a sudden, like your brain just goes, oh, it's stand up. Oh, it's, it's a crowd and you just shift gears and all of a sudden you're in the flow state, but you don't know how you got there. It's because now the brain is like, okay, we've done this before a thousand times and it's a lot of fun. So let me take over.
00:42:41
Raquel Baldelomar
It's the repetition. I mean, the repetition is a really important part of recruiting that flow state. And as a, I mean, as a writer, and this is why it's so interesting to speak with other people who are artists in some capacity, is that, how do you reach that flow state? Mm-hmm.
is like, as a writer for me, I mean, as you know, writing my first book writing, you know, and I'm working now through writing my second book, um, my, like, my flow state as a writer is like, I gotta have like a hour long meditation session. You know, I can't really have too many other distractions going on because my mind's not gonna be in like writing. Right. And then I start writing and like the first hour is like, shit, nothing really, you know, happens. Yeah. And then, but then it's like, I don't know this, you know, this maybe like after like 41st, 45 minutes, like I get sometimes like that flow stake happens for like, you know, an hour, but I get, I produce so much material in that hour. Yeah. Or the, for two hours and it's just like amazing. And then,
So that's like a four hour situation.
00:43:40
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. But I need to give myself that. I need to block myself that time to do that. Otherwise I'm not gonna really do that. And that's the thing as like, as a writer, like I can't achieve that flow state and like, you know, between like, you know, all of my work meetings and all of my other projects. So it's, I find I that's this, that's why like the slowing down and allowing the space to actually allow me to get into that Right. Is interesting. So I I'm interested to hear like other, uh, performers, other artists, like how do they try to achieve that flow state, whether it's on stage or even like when you're kind of
Writing, I can't speak for others. I can speak for myself. Okay. But it seems like you figured out a blueprint, which is really cool. I
00:44:16
Raquel Baldelomar
I, it works for me. I know that's like, that's what, that's what we have to find what works for you.
Exactly. Like that's what we're doing. And that's why I'm, when I said earlier like, I don't know what my creative process is exactly. Like when someone goes, how do you write a joke? I'm like, that's a very tough question. Mm-hmm. Because mm-hmm.
, sometimes it's something that happens, sometimes it's something that happened. I say it on stage and then I say something like,
00:44:34
Raquel Baldelomar
But it's also having a really sharp mind. And I think that's, you know, thank you. Being able to have a really sharp mind to appreciate, like, when is there a joke? I mean, and, and you know, Steve Martin has said like, everything is material. Right. And if you can like, be like really aware of where that material's like coming from, be really present. Like you're like, oh my God, I just got really good material. Even though maybe like I was the, like the, the, you know, the person who got kicked in that material, like Right. That's material. Right.
I think for me, I, it's a, right now where I'm at, it's a mixture of things. It's reflecting mm-hmm.
, it's reading. Reading really helps me figure out what I want to talk about on stage. Every time I read something, I'm, I spend more time highlighting and annotating than reading the book because I, I, I can be on a page for like 15, 20 minutes going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this? And so I'll end up like reading, highlighting, and then I'll literally bring out like note cards and I have like a board and I'll pin them. Mm-hmm. Tire Camel, the ending of Tire Camel is already there. I'm trying to figure out what's in the middle. So like I always, that's what I meant. Like I work backwards. I know the message I'm trying to deliver and now I'm trying to find the jokes and the stories that fit within that message. Mm-hmm. . And so like, that's how I work. It's like a little bit of this, a little bit of reading and I love things that are serious and heavy and I wanna make them simple because that's a challenge. Instead of just going to simple ideas and then just discussing them, making them funny. So it's like, I think I work a lot on stage. I figure a lot of things out on stage. Mm-hmm. , because I need the pressure. I need to feel that. No,
00:46:04
Raquel Baldelomar
You like the pressure.
I like the pressure. Really? Yeah. The best shows I've ever done. Really? Otherwise I thought I'm gonna bomb. And there's a lot of people coming to see me and I'm really nervous and I end up like, over at like, I'm, I'm, I get off stage and I'm like, what just happened? ? But when I'm like confident it's a disaster. Oh, wow. Yeah. So I like to be in that. Like, you
00:46:23
Raquel Baldelomar
Almost like to just be hit, you know? Yeah. You really, that's so
Interesting. And then I find something, I come, like the, one of my jokes, the Kendra joke, it's about like my first time in America, like trying bacon and all that stuff. Mm-hmm.
. And, um, I came up with it because I was under pressure. I was doing on deck comedy in my backyard every week. People were coming, they're seeing the same set. And I started having the same crowd and I walk out, I'm like, fuck, these are the same people that were here last week. . And I can't do the same material. Even if there's like 20% new stuff. It's not. So I just said, oh, I'm just gonna tell this story about Santa Barbara. And I swear to God, like I, they were dead. And then I was like, that's a joke. So I need that pressure where I'm like, yeah, I feel like there's a lot on the line.
Yeah. Same thing in Kuwait. Unconventionally Arab. I only had seven minutes of material and I said, I'll do 30 minutes. Really? Yeah. And in two months, and then until the night before, I was like in my bedroom with one of my best friends. I'm like, what do you think of this? He's like, that's late. I'm like, ah, I'm gonna do it. And then what do you think? He's like, Saad the show's tomorrow. Are you gonna memorize? I'm like, yeah. And I just like memorized, got on stage, delivered. It went well. Got off. And I was like, wow.
00:47:25
Raquel Baldelomar
So sometimes like what? Tell, talk about that, that pressure. Because I feel like the pressure is like, I mean, I can handle some pressure, but like, that's a lot of pressure to have. Like, you know, you have like 30 minutes, but you only have like seven minutes of material. So,
So to be fair, like I had seven minutes of material and also as a, as a one year end comic who's giving you stage time. Yeah. Like, I was doing five minute shows and sometimes five minute shows felt like 15. Now, like, I'll be like, okay, I'm gonna open with this. And then I'm gonna, now I look at it when someone goes, you have five minutes. I don't even do the show because I'm like, that's how long it takes me to warm up with the crowd. Mm-hmm.
not, I'm not trying to be cocky. I'm just being honest. Like, I enjoy it so much that if I'm not really gonna have fun, I'm not gonna do the show. Right. Yeah.
00:48:07
Raquel Baldelomar
And you wanna do that because the audience will know that too. Like, they'll know if, like, you're just going straight into your beds versus you're like connecting with them. And I think, and I think that's partly what made you such a just, you know, people really loved you in the Laugh Factory show is that like, you know, you were really connecting with them. You weren't just like getting into your bit. That's kind of, it creates that
Engagement. And again, back to our point, it's because of the pandemic. If the pandemic didn't happen and comedy clubs didn't close, and I didn't open my house as an outdoor comedy venue, I don't think I would've been as good as I am today. Mm-hmm.
, it forced me to slow down. I lost contracts in my business, so money was tight. No comedy. I was depressed. Trump was president. He said, international students need, need to go back home. I was scared about getting deported and I had to leave. I didn't leave. Mm-hmm. . And I was like, okay, I'm gonna turn my house into a comedy venue. And now I had the same 40 people coming every week. Like of course 10 would change, but it forced me to do crowd work. It forced me. And I was like two, three years into the, to comedy. So I grew so much from a time that forced us to slow down. Yeah. Same thing with my leg injury, same thing with, you know, moving here after law school. So it's, I'm really grateful for everything difficult. It's, it's almost like I'm addicted to the challenge. Like, whenever a door closes, I'm like, Ooh, something good's about to happen.
00:49:22
Raquel Baldelomar
You just need to be aware of growth. I mean, growth comes through those challenges. Right. And I think it's, it's, if you've had, um, I I would say as painful as some of like my challenges I've had to deal with in my life, you know, whether it's like my father abandoning me at 10 or, um, you know, going, you know, just going through a miscarriage or just relationship issues. Like it's the biggest, the biggest growth
Comes. Do you know where your father is?
00:49:49
Raquel Baldelomar
Oh, that's a whole other story. This is, this is what the book, the second book is about The second
Book. Yeah. The first one was something with, uh, the title had Cupcake in it. Right.
00:49:56
Raquel Baldelomar
. The first book was with a client of mine. It was about just, uh, sugar in what Sugar does to the body's nerves. It creates inflammation. But what's it was, it was this, it was, you know, I wrote it with a client of mine, a doctor of really brilliant. Really? But
It has cupcake in the title.
00:50:08
Raquel Baldelomar
It has Cup, well it had Sugar Crush is the name of it. Sugar
Crush. Yes. But the cupcake is on the cover. Yes,
00:50:13
Raquel Baldelomar
Exactly.
00:50:13
Raquel Baldelomar
Remember it. You remembered that. Yeah. So, uh, but you know, the second book is talks about just the abandonment and just like the, all of like, the abandonment issues I had to deal with. But, but this is where also the growth comes from. The pain. It comes from, you know, how do you, you can either like, um, like, you know, get yourself in bed and like, or do drugs or try to numb your pain. You know what I
Mean? The bottom line, and I don't mean to interrupt, the bottom line is when pain comes, you have a choice. You either learn the lesson or you failed the, the, the class. And when you go to vices, like drugs and stuff, you're failing the class. Yeah, yeah. But if you decide to learn the lesson, then you're gonna grow. You're gonna graduate, you're gonna excel in that classroom and then go to the next level. And I feel like that's what this year has been. I got the crash course.
00:51:02
Raquel Baldelomar
You got the crash. Yes. You're, you're, you're, you've done an a in the class as,
I don't know if I'm doing an A I'm doing my best. No, you're doing it. But, but a lot has happened in the last 16 months, I'd say.
00:51:11
Raquel Baldelomar
And that's, I think, really important to share. I mean, share that. It's just, uh, you know, and, and your way, you'll share it through your comedy, through whatever your writings, whatever you do. But I, I think that's important is that we, a lot of times we get, we, we know we all have our own struggles. And I think recognizing everybody has their own struggles, whatever it is. But then, you know, how do you deal with a struggle that's that's pure that, that, that's not like numbing. Cuz I think I, that's one of the things too I've seen and are just, you know, people in la you know, friends and, and just is that it's so easy to just mask the pain. It's so easy to just mask, you know, the struggles with, with something that, whether it's food mm-hmm.
, whether it's alcohol, whether it's drugs, anything like that.
So I just think that when you're going through it, being able to be honest and say, I'm, I'm, this is difficult, but I'm actually dealing with it in a healthy way. Right. And, and you know, to your point about like the, you know, the, the, the trial and error, I think too, like that's, you know, we're, I think being able to like, see what is happening in real time and tr you know, doing, you know, trial and error is like, oh, this doesn't really work this way. I need to readjust. I mean, being adaptable. Mm-hmm. , I think is actually also been really important. I, and I think that's what, as a comic, I think really good comics actually. They're constantly adapting their material. Right. Based on what
The environment Yeah. Yeah. Not catering, adapting. Yeah. Very different, right? Yeah.
00:52:41
Raquel Baldelomar
But the trial like that, that, like, that's, and you talk about like, the success, you know, and one of, like in you talk about like, um, success is a process of trial and error and an immense amount of dedication. You know, like for
You, that's another post.
00:52:57
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. You
Wrote this. Okay. No, no. I, it's all on Instagram. So
00:53:00
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah, it's all on Instagram. , sometimes you forget what you write.
You know, , when I, when when you send me the email, I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I did. And then I had to like revisit. I don't, I couldn't find the post. I'm like, where is it really? Yeah. I was like, yeah. But trial and error.
00:53:14
Raquel Baldelomar
It's trial and error. And then, but going back to like, what is success, you know, is, um, you know, what, as a, as a comedian, I think it's very simple. Like your success is like, oh, your joke lands. Well mm-hmm.
. Would you say that's, would you say that's No, it's not. It's bigger than that.
I, I think Patrice O'Neill said it best. Killing is easy. That was the name of his documentary, right? Mm-hmm.
the one they did. Yeah. Mm-hmm. . It's when it lands. Well, it's, it's a good feeling. It's a rush. Mm-hmm. . But I think for me, success is when my joke leaves you thinking you drive home, you're like, Hmm. Never thought of it. Yeah. Thought about this, this way. Or you start having conversations like, you know, I don't want to get this political on this episode, but I do have jokes that are considered like, thought provoking may be offensive to some. And I like them because I want you to go home and revisit your beliefs and ideology. Yeah. And think about what you've probably learned that wasn't right. Yeah.
00:54:21
Raquel Baldelomar
And I think actually as a, you know, as a comic, if you know, you, you can appreciate this because it's like you under Steve read like, um, Robert Green's books about human nature and just like how, you know, I think, you know, to disarm people, to get them to try to change their beliefs, like being able through a form of comedy. It's a really powerful way of getting people to change their belief system because they see something they, you know, if you can point to the hypocrisy or just the total just ridiculousness of a way of thinking and use comedy as a form of Right. Of persuasion. It's, you know, it's taking kind of like the logical framework. And rather than being a lawyer, you know, which you kind of study for, you're using it through this vein of comedy and making people kind of disarming them. It's like, wow. Like that is a really interesting way. I never thought about it that way.
Yeah. Their, their guard is definitely down. I think of like, when you're laughing, it's like sneezing at a dinner table. Mm-hmm.
, it's like, it's coming mm-hmm. . And then when it happens, you're just like, excuse me. And all of a sudden you're, whatever you're presenting just like broke for a second. Like, your guard's down. And now you have to get up and or ask for an nap. Like, it just humbles you. Right? Yeah. So like, even if you're putting up this like, front, when you sneeze, you're like no longer in control, and then you're like, bless you. Like, oh, thank you. So it forced everyone to be polite and cooperative for a second. Right? Yeah. Yeah. And I think when we're laughing, it's the same thing. Like, information's like sliding into your mind and you're like, they're like, oh, like little thieves. Like they creep in. Yeah. And people are like, oh, now I just laughed at a joke that I, I wouldn't have thought as correct if it was a conversation.
00:55:59
Raquel Baldelomar
Right. And I think that's what makes some of the great comics, you know, just both of today's world or, or even the past. He, they had ability to do that. Yeah. They had the ability to make us like really rethink certain, you know, very serious subjects. Right. Whether it's like Dave Chappelle and like his, some of you know, his L G B T Q Right. Uh, bits versus, you know, even, you know, George Carlin and some of the stuff he said, you know, political stuff. I mean, they had a really great way of using comedy as a way to make me change our perspective of something. Right. So I think that would be, I mean, that's definitely success.
That's success for me in comedy for sure. That if I leave you with something that changes or opens up a door for new information mm-hmm.
to get in.
00:56:39
Raquel Baldelomar
You've stated that success is relative mm-hmm.
. And that you really, uh, it's not for you, it's not necessarily about trying to acquire material things, but it's about experiences. Mm-hmm. , um, what are the experiences you're like trying to acquire now?
00:56:59
Raquel Baldelomar
Good question. Cause you, I mean, you have a lot of experiences that you talk about pain. I'm going through a lot of, and then I'm sure you know, the struggle.
What are the ones that I'm looking forward to? Yeah. Yeah. A lot. Raquel, really a lot. Uh, I, I'm looking forward to success in my career. Career is something that I think about a lot.
00:57:17
Raquel Baldelomar
Okay. And when you think
00:57:19
Raquel Baldelomar
Career, when you talk about career, is that, like you, a career as a comic, as a
Producer, as a comic and a and someone who I, I say would probably dabble into politics, really? Yeah. I definitely have ambitions about, um, doing things different. Mm-hmm.
, um, I don't want to like get into too much detail about Right. Right. But I definitely wanna see, like, I want to experience what it's like to have a special that wins a Grammy. You know, I want to experience what it's like to sit in a writer's room and have the ideas that I want turn into fruition. And like the TV show that I want to have. I want to experience traveling the world more. You know, it's been four or five years of me being here, working towards certain things so that I can do that and tour and connect. I love meeting people and learning about different cultures and different languages and reading different books, and I need to do that. But I need to be here now to build the foundation that I need so that I can take off. And so the experiences that I wanna acquire are ones that connect me with more people around the world. And it's only gonna happen by taking off. Like, and so I want to do that. So I don't know if that's the answer to your question. It is. Yeah. It is. I'm, I'm think of myself as a very patient, impatient individual, , you know, like, I'm running out of patience, but I'm, I'm in it.
00:58:37
Raquel Baldelomar
You're still patient. Well, you're still so young too.
Everyone says that. Yeah. But I have, yeah. I
00:58:41
Raquel Baldelomar
Mean, it's true. Yeah. So, I mean, and that's where being patient is, I think is, is knowing how to be patient is important. Yeah. But also knowing that like, tomorrow's not promised.
Isn't that such a mind fuck? Like live, like, they give you a quote here and they're like, oh, that makes sense. And they give you another quote. Oh, that also makes sense. I mean,
00:58:57
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. I mean, I think try to think of it as just like, am I trying to experience today in a way that's like the most meaningful possible, you know, knowing that I have all these goals and dreams that as today am I trying to do the most I can today? Because knowing that we may not, I, I may not be here tomorrow mm-hmm.
. So it's, it is a mind fuck. But it's also like, it's, it just puts thing into perspective.
Yeah. But I struggle with that because I don't like the gray area. You don't? No. I like it to be black or white. I'm either gonna have a good time or I'm gonna do a lot of work.
00:59:34
Raquel Baldelomar
Is that your legal mind? Kind
Of like, I don't know. It's just how I see the, it doesn't make sense, but sometimes I get annoyed with conversations. I'm like, all right, then what's the solution? Should we like, ban people from like, just, I don't like to just get stuck. Like either we live and enjoy or we work really hard and we excel. I seem to go the other way, work really hard, Excel, and I forget to live and enjoy. But I'm working on that. So
00:59:58
Raquel Baldelomar
Maybe this is why, this is what, why we were like having some interesting, you know, you were like, you know, Raquel, you're, you know, you're showing about balance, fuck balance. I
Did say fuck balance. You
01:00:07
Raquel Baldelomar
Touched fuck balance. So let's get into that. Yeah. Cause you almost, it's almost like you have a very unique perspective in balance. Yeah. And I think to our viewers here watching this, like, I've always believed, like, you know, like for me, balance is a pendulum. Like it is, it is about to, you have to have, like, you have a certain amount of priorities in your life that you have to kind of be all in. You have to go to that pendulum of like, what those pen, what those pendulums of those things that are important to you. And at any given moment, you gotta be focused in that area, like all the way to the edge of that pendulum. Mm-hmm.
. And then you go like, vacillate between all of these different priorities.
So then it's my concept of balance. I, cuz I don't believe in balance. Like when people say like, you gotta live a balanced life. Like what's a balanced life? Mediocrity at everything. Like it's counterbalance. Right. And it's not my words. Like, it's a book by Gary Keller and another, uh, author, I can't remember. It's called The one thing, when you focus on the one thing, the one thing gives, like rewards you. And so like, if you look at any great athlete, any great musician, any great actor, people around them sacrifice for them. Mm-hmm.
, they understand that, okay, like Kobe Bryant, like isn't gonna be, he's, you know, may he rest in peace, but like, he's not gonna be here for lunch cuz he's practicing. So his daughters and his wife understand that, okay, dad's gonna be home later tonight. He's practicing, but then he has a day off.
So then he's able to be like, okay, where do you wanna go? Like, let's go visit a very beautiful island for the day or two days and like gives the family an experience that other fathers won't be able to because he's, there's like a, there's a language you go and spend time doing what makes you great. Because that's how we're able to afford these things. And in return, when we have, when you're, it's your time to slow down and be patient and like, calm down. You give us undivided attention. And so I believe in that counterbalance.
01:01:57
Raquel Baldelomar
Well,
01:01:59
Raquel Baldelomar
No. And I think that's a, I mean I think counterbalance is, is certainly, I mean, hugely important, but it's then it's like what counterbalance to what? Like, so if you, if 90% and you know, I've always felt like what makes a really, like, fulfilled, like I, for a person to be fulfilled, to be happy, to be meaningful, to find like a purpose in life. It's not just one thing that they have to do. You know, I, and I, I, and, and some people may feel that way. It's like, if I'm really good at one thing, then I'm going to, that I will feel like I'm a fulfilled person. It's my opinion that people, you know, it's, they play multiple roles in their life and, and those roles and where they have to choose, they have to choose what are the roles that they are really important to them. And then how do they go to the pendulum? How do they b balance one role of their life to the other role? That's very opposite. Requires very different things.
Yeah. But every role requires a different time. Right. And so it's counterbalancing and like now when I'm, when I'm a father at home or like a husband or a son, I'm focused on being a good son. Mm-hmm.
, but, but I'm not doing that 90% of the time cuz I'm gonna be doing, playing basketball 90% of the time. Mm-hmm. . So like, I, I see what you're saying. But it's like when you find the one thing and you want to be the best at it, you're gonna have to design your life around that. It's like, almost like a pyramid. Like the base. Like if your family can help support and understand, if your friends understand and they help push you towards that goal, then that's great because you can't have a, a pyramid without having a strong foundation. Right. And the foundation has to come from your support system, whether it's like your house, your family, your partner.
01:03:41
Raquel Baldelomar
Is it really the support system though? I think, I think the foundation needs to come from yourself and knowing how much of your energy do you wanna focus on. Like that one thing, let's say it's your career. Right. You know, which is, I think if you,
I was talking about a family, like, okay, if
01:03:55
Raquel Baldelomar
You have a family,
01:03:56
Raquel Baldelomar
Right, right. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, you're right. I
Don't have family. So I, I do have a family, but I don't have wife and kids. Exactly. That's what I meant. Yeah.
01:04:02
Raquel Baldelomar
And that requires a whole different level of like balance and managing priorities. Right. But it is, I think it's identifying the priorities that are important to you and then giving all of yourself to those different priorities at that given moment when you're saying, I'm gonna be focused into this. Which means like, not multitasking, which is really hard. Mm-hmm.
, you know, it's really hard to, you know, like let's say you're focusing on, you know, being there for your mom for example, you know, when she's, you know, here, you know, she mentioned that she's here, like not focusing on comedy. Mm-hmm. , like I think that
It definitely took away from comedy, but also it's giving back to comedy. Cuz now I have more material. Mm-hmm.
. So
What I'm trying to say is I think people are like Swiss army knives, some people mm-hmm. , some people have, are lucky enough to find the one thing at an early age, like, oh, you're so good at soccer, you become a professional soccer player and like in your twenties you're a multimillionaire. Now you can help your community, you can build schools, you can do these things, you can give back to your parents. And it's not always about money, but you're able to give back to the people that pushed you to find that one thing. Some people don't have that luxury of finding the one thing at an early age. So you have to try different things. But once you decide what it is you want to do, if you wanna be the best at it, then you do have to go all in. And going all in sometimes costs you some something.
Yes. Oh, like my partner's unhappy. I'm always like right now doing comedy. I'm a night owl. So like, I'm always up late. I'm, even if I try to to sleep early, I'm up late. My shows are late. So like I can't commit to certain like, uh, social obligations like dinners and birthdays because if I have a show that comes first period. So some people think, oh, he's not making time for us. Other people go, no, that's great. We'd love to see it. We're gonna come support the next show. Mm-hmm. , these are the friends that stick around and help support you to go to move forward because you don't wanna feel someone's trying to guilt trip you into following what it is that you wanna do. And so because of that, now my mornings are different. So now, you know what I mean? So like, there's a price that I'm paying, but I'm choosing to pay it. So I don't think it's a comp, it's a sacrifice. It's, it's a, it's just a cost.
01:06:10
Raquel Baldelomar
When you love what you do, I mean, you don't think of it. I mean it's, it's, it's not, you don't really, I mean, you know that there's sacrifices that have to be made, but you just accept
It. Yeah. And it's a hundred percent counterbalance because comedy cost me a lot of things in life, but I'm not here complaining about it. I just realize and, and acknowledge that right now I'm gonna do this until it works. And when it works, I'm gonna be able to fix the things that broke in the process. If they're fixable. If not, then nothing really broke. Cuz it's in pursuit of what I love.
01:06:38
Raquel Baldelomar
So you talk about how comedy costs me a lot of things. You know, one of the things, uh, that I think a lot of people who come to la you know, they, they, they pursue, there's a, you know, pursue dreams. You know, whether it's,
01:06:50
Raquel Baldelomar
Singing, acting, you know, just music businesses, writing many things. Um, and the balance, I think there's also a balance between trying to pursue the dream, in your case comedy, but also just living, like managing just, just the, you know, the money part of their life. Mm-hmm.
. And what do you have, what guidance do you have for people who are coming to LA who are want to pursue a dream or maybe they're, you know, they have something, they wanna switch their careers, they do wanna do something they're really passionate about. They're here, but they also are scared because they, you know, it's so expensive to live in LA and how, what there is a balance too to kind of pushing yourself towards the dream that you want while also trying to, you know, just live and support yourself and support a family.
That's a very tough question because how, I don't want to feel responsible for anyone else's decisions. No, it's
01:07:50
Raquel Baldelomar
Not. You're through your experience, like, through,
Through my own experience. But it, it's not the best advice. Cuz I've, I've, there were moments where I'm like, I need to pull the plug. I need to go back home. I'm done. So like, if you're willing, if it's something that you're sure you want to do, I think go ahead and learn and experience and feel the pain and be okay with it. If you're not, don't. Because there's nothing worse than thinking what if. So to me, I pursue something, I am a hundred percent aware of the things that I'm gonna lose in the process. And I've been really close to completely calling it like off and going home last year again this year again, a few months ago. And my advice is, if you're not gonna be able to stick with it, then maybe try to be strategic and figure out a plan. But then again, it takes away from my thinking of counterbalance because if it's something you really want to do, then go ahead.
Just make sure it doesn't hurt other people in the process. Mm-hmm.
. So like, if you are a father and you have a family and your family relies on you, then you definitely need to think about it a little more. I was lucky that I was like a single man who had no like, responsibilities other than my two pets, my dogs. And it was like easier because no one else is suffering because of my decisions. Um, that's where I think most of the thinking should come from in a place of like selflessness and like, who's relying on me and what does that cost them if I do that, if you're young and you're able, it's the most beautiful thing I've ever done. The every lesson that I've learned by trying to live here for 11 years, 12 years, the last six years doing standup has been nothing but a treasure.
And I'm a hundred percent sure that no matter where I take these lessons, they're gonna provide endless tools for any problem solving that I'm like, any issue I'm gonna face in the future. And that's what I meant by like, we're a Swiss army knife. Like we go through different things. Like what I learned in law school, I hated it. But what I learned about contracts and how to read contracts and how to talk to people, beautiful. I use it in other stuff that I'm doing in entertainment. What I learned from legendary in production, horrible experiences with like camera issues and editing and editing rooms and staff that is lazy or late. And, but now I use it to produce comedy shows. I'm like, okay, like I don't think I can work with you. That's the lesson I learned. So, like hard, my advice is love hardship, love pain, and go for it. But don't come to me saying it didn't work out. . Like, take responsibility. All
01:10:27
Raquel Baldelomar
Right. Everyone is saying Saad is saying love hardship and love pain. Yeah.
Because then it's not gonna hurt you. You become a friend, you, you befriended and you're like, okay, I get it. We gotta problem solve. And that's what I meant in the other post that we read. Yeah. Um, yeah.
01:10:42
Raquel Baldelomar
And your
Own just, did that make sense Raquel?
01:10:44
Raquel Baldelomar
It totally makes it, I mean, I, I'm the same. I think it's
Like, we didn't really get into it, but there was a lot of stuff that I, like, there are moments where I was like, okay, I need to quit on everything. And like, yeah. And I
01:10:56
Raquel Baldelomar
Think a lot of people have that. And this is where I think, you know, we, we live also sometimes forget this. Like, there's a lot of other people that we, we encounter, you know, just, just at the grocery stores. It it's that they have, they're, they wanna quit, you know, they're about to quit because it is, you know, LA is so challenging. I mean, to make it here, you know, uh, how that, this is why I think the balance of like pursuing your dreams, whether it's like writer, you know, wanting to be a really successful writer, your businesses or comedy or acting, whatever. But then how do you counterbalance that against other very important things in life that's keeping you from really being able to devote all of yourself to that. Right. Um, and that's where it's my philosophy that it all starts. Like it's, uh, you know, you and I've, you, I've always said that to be able to turn on really well, you have to know how to turn off mm-hmm.
. So, and it's very similar to what you say about to go fast. Yeah. You have to be able to go very slow. So to that vein, like I wanted to talk about your own self-care and what you're trying to do to just manage your own, just balance in your own life between your career, which is very important. But then also how does that impacting like your other parts of your life, like your dating relationships, your own physical health, your workout, your sleep. So let's start with dating
01:12:25
Raquel Baldelomar
Like, what I, I know in our conversation before, uh, just as our pre-production call, you talked about how like, it's kind of hard to date because like a lot of your, you know, your work is at night and you can't really plan things and you know, it's so, it's, it's, it's a little hard to be with somebody who, you know, when you're, your work is in the evening. So it's
Yeah, it is. I think you know, more than that. It's uh, okay, Raquel, let's just be really honest. I'm very obsessive, okay? Mm-hmm.
. And so when I, the goals that I want to accomplish in life stop for no one. Mm-hmm. . And that's really how I am, how I function. And so it's really hard for me to manage a relationship when I still haven't secured or like achieve the, the tasks that I set out to achieve. Why? Because a relationship is work. A relationship is two people having a, like a, a dance and enjoying their time. And it requires attention and requires care. And although I do have these qualities, when I get super stressed out or when I get really like into the zone of my work, I shut that person out. It's because I just feel like I need to focus on myself. And it's not a great thing. It's something that I'm working on. But that's what I meant earlier when I said counterbalance. And you need someone that understands that. So perhaps it's a character thing, perhaps it's something that I'm gonna get better at with time. But for now, whoever is in my life at that romantic capacity needs to understand that that's who he is. His career comes first period. But doesn't mean that that person isn't gonna come first. Right. At certain times it's, I'm, um, yeah.
01:14:09
Raquel Baldelomar
Do you think though that, and I can relate to that obsessiveness quality? Yeah. I mean there's an element of like O C D that I have in my own, you know what I do Yeah. As well for my own professional career. But do you think that you have the ability of taking that obsessiveness to other parts of your life that is focused on self-care? Whether it's okay. A hundred percent. Okay. So like ex an example of that. How would you do that?
Like, when I started doing Jiujitsu, I just wanted to be a jujitsu world champion. . Okay. Six months into the sport, I'm like, that's it. That's all I'm gonna do for the rest of my life. So like I obsess over everything that is good.
01:14:43
Raquel Baldelomar
Right. And I think that's actually a really important counterbalance cuz I can totally relate to that. Yeah. Because I also have, you know, I have a very strong analytical side. I have a very strong like, mental side, you know, between like running my businesses and working on my, just writing projects and all of just the other projects that are important. You know, you know, I have responding to investors. I have like very, I have like a lot of pressure and res you know, work responsibilities that I have to perform at a very high level, which requires like very high like intellectual capacity. Mm-hmm.
. And for me, the counterbalance to do well at that side of my life is the min is the physical part of it. Right. So I can Totally. And so being able to work out and, and you know, so I can totally relate to like why jiu-jitsu is like, you're so obsessive with that too because it's the physical. You need that break of like, from like being so mentally focused
And it, and it forces you to be present. Cuz you can't use your phone. Right. You can't have a conversation. You're focused on your partner rolling with you and you so you're so present that when you leave you, I literally, every time I leave the gym I go, wow, life is good. Yeah. And it's like, and I'm ready for anything else.
01:15:45
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. And I'm the same way with running, like, after like running, you know, doing like my five mile runs, I'm just like, I have like this high, this, this, this like endorphin rush that nothing else. Like, you know, like can maybe there's like, you know, like there's other Yeah. There's like maybe like a great orgasm. Maybe a great orgasm. We'll get you like that same high, but nothing else can really, like, very few other things give you that high and Right. And I also think it's important to find that in nature, not rather than like, you know, going through drugs or alcohol, which I think a lot of people find that counterbalance through some of these other things. And, and, and some people, you know, I mean they, they're, you know, I think we, you know, living in LA where marijuana is legal, I mean it's a lot of people do
That. I just wanna clarify something cuz I might seem like I'm a horrible partner, but based on what I said, that's not right. Like what I was trying to say, I wanna revisit it
. Okay. Is that, let's say like I have shows, I'm focused, I'm doing my shows. Mm-hmm. I'm going to the gym, I'm taking care of myself first. Mm-hmm. . However, when we go out to dinner, you have my undivided attention. You can guarantee that it's gonna be the best dinner, the best conversation.
01:16:48
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. Obsessive.
Yes. I'm obsessive, so obsessive when I'm with you. Yes,
01:16:51
Raquel Baldelomar
Exactly. That's a great, but,
But my career comes first even for myself. Like, so to
01:16:57
Raquel Baldelomar
Any women, the women, women who wants to dates
Saw the, like all who are me.
01:17:01
Raquel Baldelomar
It's like, when, when Saad is focused on you, he's gonna be
Focused on you. I'm so focused on you. You're gonna forget that I was focused on other things before. Yeah, exactly. That's what I want to get to. Okay. That's right. Because, but I'm just honest because I, there's a lot that I want to accomplish in my life. Mm-hmm.
, and I'm a very ambitious individual and I work very hard towards my goals. And I am a perfectionist and I'm learning to look for excellence, not perfectionism. So, and it's like, but that's what I meant. Support system and a partnership. And of course when my partner's also obsessing over their goals, you bet your ass that I'm gonna be their number one support system and rooting for them and going go, go, go, go, go six days, do whatever you need to do, and then we'll have dinner on Saturday or Monday or whenever it works for your schedule. Or let's go to Disneyland. Even though I don't like to, but you know what I mean. Like, I, I'll do like, but
01:17:46
Raquel Baldelomar
It's, I, and I think having it been a perfectionist, I mean, I'm a very similar, so I'm very, and it's, I always think of this Vince Lombardi quote is that it's that, you know, you know, you can chase perfection, but if you, you know, chase perfection, you'll catch excellence. Yeah. And if that's like, if we can set our bar that high, I mean, you know, we'll, we'll catch excellence, but while we're trying to chase perfection, um,
Stop and smell the roses.
01:18:15
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. Stop and smell the roses. And also realize that there's like, it's, it's, we can't just be defined by our career success too. Yeah.
01:18:27
Raquel Baldelomar
I know. And I love it too. I,
I love it. Listen, I'm sure my next therapist is gonna help me figure out why. And I, I do one thing I wanna add, like, perfection is a moving target. Yes. So once you realize that you're, you're gonna be more like, I'm not looking to have a perfect career, but I am looking to have one hell of a life. Mm-hmm.
and to have a hell of a life. I define myself with my accomplishments. Not, you know, like, of course I'm a good person, character, integrity, good heart. I do the best I can Right. Foot forward. But man do I love it. When I crush goals, it's like I'm addicted to challenge. And the most challenging thing in my life right now is my career. And so I'm gonna do the best I can with what I have. And I, you know, I've said it before once on a post, maybe you didn't catch it. It was a Instagram story and I wrote, I don't want anyone to know me outside of my career. Sometimes I go in that I, I feel like I only want people to try to understand who I am through my work. And that's it. It's, it's like an inclination that I'm getting and it's getting, it's increasing as I'm getting older.
01:19:25
Raquel Baldelomar
Well, you want, you mean wanting people to understand you through your work
Period. That's it. That's it. I don't want anyone to be like, I had dinner with him. What, what is he like outside of his work? Really? I feel like it's intriguing because I, I'm starting to really love my time alone. Yeah. And really enjoying having a clean home and just like candles and books and then just go out on work and then disappear. I feel like there's some magical element to that.
01:19:51
Raquel Baldelomar
Well that's the part of just being like, I've been, I mean, turning off, you know, is, is like, I think that if you're constantly trying to show, you know, show yourself whether you're on Instagram or constantly performing and con like, you're not allowing yourself to just find like, what is your center going back into your own just like soft landing pad, whatever that is, you know, for you, your home, you're, you're not gonna really know, like when you're out there performing, you're not really gonna be able to be that powerful. You know, you need to recharge. Like, I believe like you need to really recharge. That's why like the balance thing is so important for me is that in order for me to go and be really like, powerful in whatever I do and all, you know, my projects,
I guess our issue, you and I is we need to define balance. Yeah. What's your definition of
01:20:44
Raquel Baldelomar
Balance? My balance is a pendulum. Like I believe that you have to be so obsessively focused on like, you have a number of priorities in your life that you have to be so obsessively focused on. And you have, and you at any given moment, you have to be focused on that. And also, my definition of balance is that you wear multiple, you have multiple roles in life. It's like the, but
How did you, did you define the
01:21:08
Raquel Baldelomar
Word? So, so it's a Shakespeare quote that says that all the world's a stage and all the men and women are merely players. Mm-hmm.
, they have their exits and their entrances. And one man in his life plays many parts. Mm-hmm. recognizing that I have many roles I play in my life. You know, I, you know, I'm, I I run two businesses. I am, I mean, I'm a writer. I have this podcast. I I'm a daughter, I have friends. I am trying to like, you know, just find love and all of that. And I have all these different roles that are very important to me. And I also, like, I am entering into people's stages and they're inter entering into mine and recognizing that at, you know, when, when I have to be so obsessively focused in that role, I'm playing at that moment mm-hmm. , but knowing that that role is going to change based on, you know, the dynamics of it. That's the balance. That, that's what I think balance is, is playing, knowing how to play the multiple roles you have in life that in, in whatever stage you are, whether it's your stage, somebody else's stage, and playing that role really well. Right.
That's my definition of balance. Mm-hmm. is, is, is to how to be balanced is that it's never like a moment. It's like going to the pendulum of every different, like, role you're playing at whatever stage it is. And then are you doing, like, are you doing that well? And in order to do that well I feel like you have to know how to turn off and that means like, you've gotta know how to retreat and like center yourself and read and like meditate mm-hmm. and like have your own self-care. You
Know? And maybe I do live a balanced life and I just don't even realize it. You think so because I, I think of it as as counterbalance. Okay.
01:22:48
Raquel Baldelomar
So let's go to your counter. What is your counterbalance? So you talk about like the juujitsu.
I, I I guess like, to me it's about where I focus my energy and thoughts. Mm-hmm.
, right? Like, I go to jujitsu, but I don't focus on it like I used to when I competed. Okay. Like, I'm not reviewing my moves, I'm not watching tapes mm-hmm. about new moves. I'm not competing as much. So like I'm no longer giving it justice. Okay. I'm using it to, to recharge, but I'm not giving it a hundred percent. Okay. So to me, the way I see it is like there needs to be something that takes like a hundred percent of my energy and focus and other things just have to And
01:23:22
Raquel Baldelomar
What is that?
01:23:25
Raquel Baldelomar
Comedy
Like my career. Okay. What I wanna do my, my the movement Okay. That I'm trying to build. Okay. And, um, it's comedy. It's,
01:23:32
Raquel Baldelomar
And then what about like your, let's talk about now like other, like your sleep,
Like comedy's, like one of a bigger, like let's say like whatever I'm trying to do in entertainment. Okay. Yeah,
01:23:42
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah, exactly. So it's not just comedy and this is again, the roles.
Like what? It's comedy, it's the book I want to write. It's the podcast I'm working on mm-hmm.
, it's the new project, I'm mm-hmm. , the shows that I have. Like, it's just all part of one mission. Yeah. One purpose.
01:23:54
Raquel Baldelomar
But then how are you saying, how would you feel like you are counterbalancing, let's say the professional goals, right? Because those are like, that's all, I consider all that professional goals. Two, like, um, you like your own self-care, your own family, even like with your mom mm-hmm.
like you talked about, you know, your mom, your, she was recently sick. You're, you know, trying to help her. Like
She's currently in treatment. Yeah. She
01:24:18
Raquel Baldelomar
Is. Yeah. Is she a, is she, is it getting better?
Yeah. Yeah. Good. And that, that's also like a, you know, the timing of it is, is insane because she came here, she visited me here to, to help me through my recovery process. And now I'm helping her through her recovery process. And if it wasn't for my leg, we would've never found out. Um, really? That she, yeah. Oh my God. So it's, um, that's what I mean, like in pain there's a teacher mm-hmm.
. And we were lucky enough, and I'm grateful to have identified that there's something that we need to take a look at and slow down and figure that out. So if it wasn't for my leg, I don't think we would've been treating it.
01:24:53
Raquel Baldelomar
Really?
01:24:55
Raquel Baldelomar
It's amazing. Yes. Like that, that actually, that happened. It took like, you know, do you, and some, this is, it's so interesting how like sequences of life works, you know, if it wasn't almost like work for your leg, which you have even found out that she had, you know, she was sick. Yeah. So, um, I think though that is all like part of like slowing down too mm-hmm.
and, and, and focusing on the things that are important to you Right. Other than just work and your mother is obviously very important
To you. No, I love her. Of course. Like, uh, but, but yeah, I, I think to me, like when I, I guess when I hear balance and, and again, maybe it's the book's fault that I read the one thing mm-hmm.
, because ever since I was a child, I've always been envious in a good way. Like, hey, congrats not envious. Like, oh, I want that from you, but congrats when I see people that are so good at one thing, like a little girl that's five killing it on the violin or this like person playing basketball and, and like, just everyone's like in awe. I I love it. I love it when you find that one thing that you can dive into
01:25:57
Raquel Baldelomar
And see what I think about is like, God, are they balanced? Like did they, are they genuinely fulfilled? Are they they happy? Are they, do they feel like they have meaning in their life? And some do,
Perhaps some, I mean, I know some athletes that that have, and that's why I said counterbalance because then they have a partner that really loves family and really loves her work. Mm-hmm.
. And she works from home or he works from home and they just have this beautiful dance of like, yeah, you excel at what you do. I excel at what I do, we meet in the middle and it creates like magic.
01:26:27
Raquel Baldelomar
And I think it, going back to what our definition of balance is, is that I think it, for me it's about like, are you having a meaningful
Fulfilled life? Fulfilled
01:26:37
Raquel Baldelomar
Life? Yes. And, and, and if you feel like, and to me it's not just about work for some people it is, but it's about many other things. And, and that's where I'm trying to find like all of those things that are important to me. Am I really, you know, is, is that pie? You know, if you can,
Let's better frame it. If you work in what it, what it is you think is your purpose mm-hmm.
, then that's, that's, that's where my advice would be applicable. Mm-hmm. , if your work isn't your purpose Yeah. Then I, I guess what you're saying is completely true because then it is all about finding other things that fulfill you. That's why I said I'm, these people are lucky to to,
01:27:15
Raquel Baldelomar
But I also think even if you, it doesn't, if that's not the only thing, I mean, I love my work, I love what I do, but that's, I don't wanna be defined by just my work. Like, I think that may be our difference and that's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I think that's totally okay. Is that I don't, you know, you talk about like, you wanna be, you know, you only want people to see through your work. Like, I think it's also like, um, the ad you know, being a teacher for people that who, who may, you may ne you know, that it's has nothing to do with your work, but, you know, guiding them. I think, um, having a really strong like family network is really important. Mm-hmm.
, you know, whatever family, whatever form that takes. Um, having fun. Like, you know, I mean, I know that's between, we talk about all this pain and hardship. It's like, I think like finding fun and traveling, you know, and, and, and sleeping, like, to me like that is important to me too.
Yeah. It's important, but I don't
01:28:10
Raquel Baldelomar
You don't care for it
As much. Not as much, really. It's so the moment my work stops, I, I don't see this is turning into a therapy session very quickly,
. So maybe I just don't register. Like I get it. Uhhuh , I, I understand and respect it and I love it. I just think the way I am, the way I'm wired, it's,
01:28:31
Raquel Baldelomar
No, this is why I think it's important for people to see different views of balance.
Yeah. Maybe there are people like that. There are a lot of people thinking that they're different. You're not, you're great. Exactly. Love it. I I embraced it ever since I was a kid. Even my parents are like, what is up with this kid? Like, it's like, you know, like, I'll do something and that's all I think about. Yes. It's, and
01:28:49
Raquel Baldelomar
It's just, and and there's, I appreciate that obsessiveness. Yeah. And you have, you cannot be successful in this world without having an element of that. Right. It's like, it's just my, like my principle, like it's, it's, you know, just like you have your own like principle that I wanna get into. Like, my principle is like, so for many years has been that you can't like to turn off, like to be able to turn on well, you gotta know how to turn off. Right. And I think a lot of people, they don't really know how to turn off or they don't know how to turn off well or they use, uh, substances or they turn, they cheat when they turn off.
Yeah. No, I, I, I turn off. I think, so two things, I know what it is that I use to turn off, but I would just wanna say something. Mm-hmm.
is, I never wanna look back and say, I wish I gave it a hundred percent. Yeah. That would kill my soul. So I always want to give it a hundred percent and I wanna have any excuse not to, I don't want it to be a social invitation. Don't get me wrong. I do go support friends birthdays and stuff, but a lot of times I say no to a lot of things. Not because I just, I need to sit alone and write and read and think and plan and put my vision together. And it's work because that's when I get on stage and I go, that's why it was a good show because I recharge, I prepare, that's mentally and I'm, I'm ready to tackle the challenge. Yeah.
01:30:02
Raquel Baldelomar
And I think that's really important for Yeah. Just our viewers to also see is that your process of turning off is you do, like, you actually do take the time solitude. Yeah. The sol. And I think that's really important. Yeah. I think solitude is really important. Yeah. Would you say you're an introvert or an extrovert?
Oh, my friends think I'm an extrovert. I think I'm an introvert really? So we have a problem , everyone's like, you're so social, so good. You should come to this party, you should come to this meeting. You should, people love you. I'm like, yeah, but I don't love people. Like, leave me alone. Not, not in a way that I don't love them, I love them, but it's, I, yeah. I just leave me alone, you know? Yeah.
01:30:36
Raquel Baldelomar
You're more of an introvert.
I'm more of an introvert, but I also enjoy, oh, well I'm the same way being in the spotlight, so it's like very weird.
01:30:42
Raquel Baldelomar
Exactly. That's why, I mean, and a lot of, there's a lot of, uh, I think a lot of really great performers are that way.
Yeah. Like, I'll give you two hours at, at a dinner party and everyone's like, oh my god, sod's so friendly. And then all of a sudden you'll just see a different side of me. And they're like, what's wrong? He's being short. It's like, I gotta go, like, I'm done. I gave you guys everything I got. It's time for me to go and enjoy like greek yogurt or something and just watch something and shut off.
01:31:07
Raquel Baldelomar
I wanna talk a little bit about family. Yeah. Um, you, like me, were raised by an immigrant mother. Yeah. You know, and I think I was raised by a single mom from like 10 to, you know, 18. Um, you were in detention a lot. I was like a party girl. I started doing in nightclubs at 15 years old. So I had like my own like invia No. In Texas when we moved to the United States. So, so, so, um, you know, I, I see a lot of the parallels, you know, between being attention and doing what you're doing now. So there, there's this very like, strong like, individual, like, you know, just very headstrong like approach to kind of your way of living. And I, um, how would you say, like, you know, and I can tell your mother's very strong just by how you've described her. Like what, um, what has it been like for just your mother to see you come, you know, leave Kuwait, come here and I mean, I'm sure she's been very supportive for you, but, you know, what has it been like just being raised by, by her and how do you think that shaped you?
I think it was really hard for her, um, to accept that I want to live here and not there, not be with her because, you know, as a single mother, I feel like she devoted her life to, to raising me.
01:32:19
Raquel Baldelomar
And do you have brothers or sisters?
01:32:21
Raquel Baldelomar
No. Okay. So sh So for her,
Uh, I'm everything. Okay. And, and, and I mean it, I'm, everything. Some single mothers had jobs. My mom just was like, no, I'm just gonna focus on him. She would drive me to school until I was like 15 or 16. Um, she was there for me at every, like, after school, um, activity. Like she helped me through my homework. She made sure I dressed well, cut my nails, like mm-hmm.
, you know, like drove me to my friend's house. She was like, part of everything. So it's a good thing. It's a great thing. But it also comes with a cost, because now I'm an adult who is pursuing a dream. And for her, what she invested her energy and time into is doing something else. And that's what I mean about counterbalance. It's like I'm doing this for us, which is something I'm trying to express to her that I, I want us to be back together again, but I want it on my own terms.
I don't want life to dictate our situation. I want to help control certain elements. And it's been really hard for her. And I, when I say control, mean meaning giving back, right? Because, but I don't wanna be stuck in a job that I hate back home. Right. And thinking that I'm, one day I'm gonna give back, but now I'm killing my soul and I'm also an unhappy son. And now I, I, there's guilt. So I decided to pursue what it is and, and, and take a risk because I believe in myself. I believe in where I'm headed, and I believe that one day I'm gonna reap the rewards from these risks and these trials and tribulations, no doubt. You know? And I'm gonna be able to, to have the union again with her and the people that helped me get to where I am as an individual, you know? So I'm in no way, um, forgetting these people. I just, right now I'm focused on where I need to get so that I can help everyone get on the boat so we can go to that island, if that makes sense. Yeah,
01:34:05
Raquel Baldelomar
No, it totally does. And you know, my mom has always said, you know, she raised five kids by herself. Yeah. Uh, when we moved to the US at 10, and she says that I know that I did a good job raising my kids when all of my five kids went as far away from me as possible. Yeah.
01:34:20
Raquel Baldelomar
So, yeah. You know, it's, I think to be a mother, like you just, you know, to know your success as a mother is knowing that like, you, your kids don't need you anymore. You gotta let them go. And I'm sure that's very hard for mothers, and especially, I can totally feel for your mother who's like in another country. My mom's in Texas, you know, like your mom's in a whole other country and like, and you know, just, I'm sure it's much harder for you actually to spend time with her, but I do know how important that is, and I, I know how important family is. Yeah. And I think it is important for everybody. It's part of like maintaining our balance. Like how do we maintain some form of family? Right. So, um, thank you for sharing
01:35:00
Raquel Baldelomar
Um, I wanna end, uh, with just, uh, we have like a few, like some questions we always ask our guest. Yeah. Um, I love the fact that you just like, read a lot of books. Like you are a big reader mm-hmm.
, and I think that, uh, you know, you're always like sharing books that that means something to you. What would you say are the top three books that have brought you the most balance to your life?
Man, this episode should just be called What is Balance? Because I, right now, I'm gonna drive home thinking about balance, and if it, if any of what I said made sense, like I am Okay. I get it. Yeah. And I also didn't even say the second point because we moved on Uhhuh.
, I do have Balances. And I, I, and, and when I say counterbalance, like Jiujitsu Yeah. Running, journaling, these things really help me focus on these things, but I'm not doing them as intensely. That's what I, what I meant. I see. Just to clarify, but health is wealth, in my opinion. It is. So take care of yourself before,
01:36:05
Raquel Baldelomar
And I'm sure, especially seeing just, you know, the what you, you know, the, the recovery process for that you've had to go through, right? Is is that's, you know, you've had to, you realize like if you don't, if your, if your health is not the most important thing, like if your health is not at the top form you, it's really hard to try to focus on the other
Problems. Exactly. Like what, what vessel are you taking to war?
01:36:24
Raquel Baldelomar
Right. Right. And that is why, that is why balance is so important for me, is because as also like obsessive as I can also be in my professional projects. I know I can't be really, like, I can't really be on, I can't be, you know, good for my investors. I can't be a good c e o I can't be a good writer. I cannot, you know, even be good in, you know, in these, in this podcast if I'm not really like healthy, if I'm not serene, if I'm not grounded. And that takes, like, you gotta, you, you have to have a process for getting to that state. Right? That is why like balance is so important for me, is that you, you know, to get to that point of being like obsessive and trying to accomplish everything, all the, these things that are noble and important, like, you have like all of these other steps that really nobody sees mm-hmm.
, you know, and I think that's like in this world where we're like, we, we publish, you know, we perform, you know, we wanna either world to see our performance, we po post on Instagram, whatever. Like, it's really what people don't see that really prepares us to get to that state where we're like, wow. Like, that person is so like, so interesting that can really learn something from that person. Right.
01:37:37
Raquel Baldelomar
The books, the books that have maybe fed you're your, your, your obsession , if it's not Balance
Mastery by Robert Green. Okay. Changed My Life.
01:37:48
Raquel Baldelomar
What about, tell what about that book? Because all he's written so many books. I mean that Yeah.
I think Mastery. So I was in Norway when I read the book, and, uh, it was after I quit my job in Kuwait and was like at a, at a fork in the road mm-hmm.
deciding like, do I wanna move back here? What do I want to do? How's the automotive project going? I'm like, why am I so obsessive? That was the first time I realized like, what's wrong with me? Mm-hmm. , you know, like, not what's wrong with me, but like, why am I so black and white? Like, why can't I be like everyone else have a job, work on a side hustle? Like, to me it's like I have to be what I'm doing. And that's why I'm so grateful to be a comedian, because that's how I see the world off stage. It's like I'm always here like critiquing things. Like, oh, this looks funny, this looks, this could be better if it was like this.
So when I read Mastery, I realized that the great people that we, in history, all went through hardship, all went through a time where they had to shed societal layers that they thought were who they were. And that's the book that made me go, who am I without my degree, without my societal expectations, without what my parents told me I should be, even though they weren't really, this is what you need to do, but still, like, you start, you carry all these things with you. So when I read that book, I'm like, I have a lot of questions that I don't have answers to. And that's why Legend Diary was Born is because I was almost like at an existential crisis after reading that book, because like, what am I doing? I have like, I'm 20 something, I have like years ahead of me, you know, and I have no idea where I'm headed.
And it helped me define who I was like, or go on the path to discover who I was and yeah. And I'm always gonna be grateful for that book. And also told me that to master something you need to put in the time and believe in counterbalance in a way. He didn't really say those words, but he talked about the obsession that they had towards their goals and what price they had to pay to, to attain these goals. So if you want to live and, and accomplish things and be considered a legend in your domain, then you're gonna have to also go through what Legends went through. And so I'm always gonna be grateful for that lesson. And, you know, it's always in the back of my head,
01:39:57
Raquel Baldelomar
I think it's amazing how books can have such an impact on you. Like Right. Moments. And it's an inter, you know, the fact that you've, like, you read it in Norway, it was at a pivotal time in your life Yeah. Where you were gonna go out a crossroads. Yeah. There's, and that's happened to me. I have like several books with that, even like, also just short articles, you know, that, that changed the direction of my life based on like, I was at a, like, it was like a fork in the road in your life, and you're like, and you get, and you're having questions, right. And then a book like Mastery, you know, you, you
See it adds more questions Yeah.
01:40:29
Raquel Baldelomar
Nara, but also gives you a sense of direction. Right. It gives you a roadmap. And I, and, and I just think, you know, it's, it's like we never have the answers to life. Like, you know,
It, it told me that it's okay not to know mm-hmm.
, but that I had a lot of work to do mm-hmm. to figure things out. Well good. So I was like, well, thank you Robert. I have no idea who I am, but now thank you for the homework. Well, Robert,
01:40:50
Raquel Baldelomar
You're watching this, so I hope you see like how great this affected just saw it and how that your book actually, I mean, we're actually, we're actually, my publicist is trying to send Robert a message right now. Nice to, to try to send, he
01:41:03
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. So we're gonna try to get him on the show, but it's, uh, you know, I think it's amazing too. Like, you know, I think, I mean, several of his other books have also in Impact. I haven't really read Mastery. Right. Like, as much as I've read all his other, his other, he's written four other books as well, which I found fascinating. Yeah. Okay. So that was one book. Mm-hmm.
, a couple other books that you, you've mentioned ano uh, couple other ones earlier about Val or
Confident Mind. Yeah. The one, I mean, the one thing should just change the course of this conversation for sure by Gary Keller. Um, it talks about just focusing on one thing and the 80 20 principle mm-hmm.
and how like, when you become so good at something, you need a support system. And if you have a family, how they're, you know, how, how your relationships are affected, how your other side, like other areas of life are affected when you obsess, but also the, the rewards that come from obsession. And he breaks it down into a science and it's like a lot better than what I explained. And I recommend it for anyone who's struggling to, to, to like go all in into what they think is their calling. It's a beautiful book, but it wasn't part of the answers. I just thought it's also a beautiful book. Brainstorm is a book that I brainstorm. Yeah. It's, uh, by the producer of, uh, I believe Beauty and the Beast. I'm blanking out on his name. Okay. I read it twice. Really?
01:42:20
Raquel Baldelomar
Yes. Brainstorm. Okay.
Yeah. It's about the creative process and how to, to figure out, um, how to dig deep and be able to share things that you're insecure about Yeah. On a platform that the world can benefit from. And he talks a lot about the creative process and, and the issues they had working on things like Beauty and the Beast and Disney. Really?
01:42:43
Raquel Baldelomar
That's interesting. Yeah, it is. I've always found that for me, like the most, the, when I can dig deep into like my pain, my vulnerability, like the, my insecurity is like, that's when like the best material Yeah. I have the best material comes up so that
So many books come to mind.
01:42:58
Raquel Baldelomar
Okay. You have one more .
So, so far, what did I say? I said you had Brainstorm Mastered by Robert Green Yeah. And Brain and Brainstorm and I feel horrible not remembering the author's name. Oh, it's okay.
01:43:07
Raquel Baldelomar
We'll, we'll we'll put it on the show notes.
Yeah. Um, Ooh, the Naked, don't fear the water,
01:43:14
Raquel Baldelomar
The Naked Don't fear the water. Mm-hmm.
. Okay.
What is that? It's about the refugee crisis in Afghanistan. Really?
01:43:20
Raquel Baldelomar
Yes. Oh, that's,
That changed my perspective on the world. Mm-hmm.
, um, taught me so much. It, it, it made me realize like, just cuz I'm Middle Eastern doesn't mean I understand everything that's happening there. First of all, it humbled my, my, my understanding of, of politics in the world, but also it taught me a beautiful lesson about how friendship and love can defy everything. Hmm. And it's a story about how a journalist, a Canadian journalist goes there to write a story about befriends one of the Afghani translators. And they get so, like, their friendship becomes so strong that he helps him flee Afghanistan during the time of war to meet his family in Europe and everything that they go through together. And it just, it, it made me feel a, like, hopeful, but also sad that, you know, there's still like, hope for humanity, but at the same time, profit and governments have created so much damage for other people in their own environments and took away their identity. And it's just a beautiful, it, it, it made me want to double down on tire camel and do a special that actually impacts the world.
01:44:36
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. But it also makes me realize that, you know, it is as, when you talk about, like, it's about love. I mean it, at as much as like, I also wanna in know many people here watching as many people in America, or focus on professional, their professional goals. It's also like, at the end of the day, I don't, you know, does it really all matter unless you have love?
01:44:57
Raquel Baldelomar
Real love, and it doesn't have to be romantic love, but like, love towards
A connection and understanding community. Yeah. So, and, and yeah. It's, it was a really beautiful, okay,
01:45:08
Raquel Baldelomar
So it naked, what is it called?
The Naked. Don't fear the water. Don't Fear the Water. And that's a great title too. It's a great title. I remember like holding in and going, whoa, that's a great title. I'm gonna read
01:45:17
Raquel Baldelomar
It. What do you think that means? The naked don't fear the water.
You're not worried about getting wet. Mm-hmm. You know, it's when you have nothing to lose you, you'll swim through anything, you know? And I, and I feel like I read it during my, when my leg was broken. Yeah.
01:45:30
Raquel Baldelomar
That's a great, that's a great way of looking at it.
Yeah. And do you not Raquel, I could sit here for an hour saying all the books that I've read, ,
01:45:36
Raquel Baldelomar
But I know this is why I, I really, honestly wanted to have you on come come on the podcast. Yeah. Because I knew just through following you over the last years Yeah. On Instagram, like what a deep reader you were and how you could actually have these conversations. Because I honestly saw it like a lot. I think a lot of our society, you know, we talk about just so society or Soci society's perspective. I think my cynical view of society is that it's very surface. It's very much people just care about like, the short little snippets, you know? And they don't really care to dig deep. I think, I think, I think some people do. And I want, and, and I'm trying to get, if there's anything I can try to do just to help society better itself, is to try to like, go deep into these subjects because you're not gonna get the answers in like an Instagram post or a Right. You know, and, and, but you, you, you're doing that and I can see that. And I think that's why like, you, you have the ability to talk about these things. So I know you could talk about that, but we only have room, you know, we only have time for three and then, you know. Yeah. So, but, um, okay. So I'm gonna move on to the next one. What are your top three healthiest habits, would you say?
Movement. Movement, okay. I'm always moving. Okay. I'm always training. Okay. I'm always running. Not anymore until I get back to, no. Are you doing
01:46:51
Raquel Baldelomar
Some movement? Are you doing
Like, I train every day. Okay, good. About six days a week. I'm at the gym movement training jujitsu, that's like a healthy, you have to move. Okay. Movement is a body in motion, stays in motion. Mm-hmm.
. So if you're, if I'm gonna tackle things, I wanna be in the best shape possible. Um, journaling and writing things down. Mm-hmm. , I think it's very important whether you're writing your thoughts, your fears, your ambitions, whether it's just goals. When you see something written on paper, there's a photograph that happens in your head and you start to believe that it's true. And it's, I love, I love that connection between pen and paper and thought. And sometimes I'll go to the pen and paper and I'll write things down, and then when I'm done, I see something I didn't even realize, like a connection. And so it's almost sitting with yourself like, but also looking at yourself and slowing yourself down. So I think, um, writing, moving, and, um, you know, this one's gonna seem, um, boundaries.
01:47:49
Raquel Baldelomar
Boundaries is important. Yeah.
01:47:52
Raquel Baldelomar
Think that's so important.
That's something like I, I I just figured out how to do in the last two years. So
01:47:58
Raquel Baldelomar
Important. Yeah. And talk about like, what do you, what do you mean by boundaries? Like setting boundaries with people?
I am a very trusting individual. Mm-hmm.
, uh, even though I say I don't trust people, you know, like when you meet me, I'm like, oh, I don't trust people, but I trust people very quickly mm-hmm. . And, uh, I've noticed that because of that, because I, I, I believe in intention. Um, I give people more than I should have and I end up being like, like hurt. And sometimes because I still love that person or that individual or the relationship we've built, I say it's okay. Like we can keep going forward together, but it only like keeps hurting me over and over again. And that's what I mean by boundaries. Knowing when to say, Hey, enough is enough. What you thought you had access to, you no longer have access to. Yeah. It's because I need to focus on one myself, two, the people that are actually investing the same amount of energy and, and love into me pouring the same equal amount, but also above all function out of integrity.
I can be there for someone that's not there for me because they need me. Now, it doesn't mean I need them to be there for me, but I know that they're coming from a place of integrity. They have a good value system, and they're good people. It's okay to help others without expecting anything in return. But when people are constantly taking away from your energy and time Yes. And you don't feel like it's appreciated, then you need to say, Hey, enough is enough. No matter what image you've built around them or what position you've put them in your life. That's
01:49:23
Raquel Baldelomar
A hugely important, I think that gets overlooked a lot is, is, um, there are a lot of energy vampires Yes. How that and, and, and sometimes they're the people we love the most. And, uh, knowing how to protect your, your energy from other people's negative energy, or even not even negative, it, it's not giving mm-hmm.
, you know, it's, it's, it's like, um, if you are used to giving up, but somebody else, they're just, they're just taking, they're just taking and taking and they're not really giving anything in return. Mm-hmm. , I think being really hyper aware of that is so important. And I think that's a huge part of like a healthy habit, is knowing how to, um, protect your energy and, and, and knowing how to give it to people who may not know how to give it back to you and, but, but, but protect it so that, you know, you can, you, you can give it to also people who know how to give it back to you in a way that's meaningful. Right. Right. So I think that's hugely important. Okay. And I have a principle that says part of balance is having healthy vices. Mm-hmm. doing things that are not necessarily healthy for you, but that bring you great joy.
01:50:34
Raquel Baldelomar
Mm-hmm.
, what are your three healthy vices?
01:50:38
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. So we, we all do threes. I love threes. ,
01:50:42
Raquel Baldelomar
Oh, yeah. So like, I would say like, one of like, mine is like poker.
01:50:46
Raquel Baldelomar
Okay. Oh, like, so it's like
Poker's game if you're winning. Is it really a vice?
01:50:49
Raquel Baldelomar
Well, you know what, sometimes I lose. Yeah. You know, I think I'm pretty good at it. I've got, and I also don't play like, you know, in like the super high six, but, you know, I play like nights and weekends. Right. And it's, uh, um, you know, I have, I do lose occasion. I mean, I do lose, I, but it's, it's gambling too, but there's an addictive there. I, there is an addictive quality to, to poker. And I try to, like, sometimes it's like if I'm not playing on a weekend, I'm like, oh man, like, I really wanna be playing. Or like, people will be like, Hey, I'm going to like, you know, let's go see a movie or come to a show, or I'm like, oh, I'd rather play poker. So anyway, so that's an example. You know, I would say food is also another one. I'm obsessed with food. I'm, I mean, you know. Right, right. Love, like, love restaurants, love food. But you know, you have to also just, you know, there's a problem
With that. Well, there's a vice, but I'm not
01:51:35
Raquel Baldelomar
Three. You have to give three. Okay.
. So I love coffee. Okay. You know, it's too
01:51:40
Raquel Baldelomar
Much
Coffee though. Too much coffee. Too much coffee. Yeah. Like sometimes it's like I'm jittery. Does
01:51:44
Raquel Baldelomar
It help you like
No. Create or just helps you? No, that's why it's a vice. I, I, I need to wake up Uhhuh and start my day. Yeah. No, I don't coffee, but I love it. Like, if I see a coffee, coffee shop, if I smell coffee and it's, it's late at night, I'm like, Ooh, like I'm getting a cup of coffee and then I stay up all night and I'm like, why do I have the cup of coffee? So I love coffee. Well,
01:52:02
Raquel Baldelomar
At least it's not cocaine, right?
01:52:04
Raquel Baldelomar
Cocaine has a similar effect.
Yeah. And like, I know people say like, switch the tea and No, no, I don't. I don't wanna hear it. I have coffee too. Leave me alone. Me and my coffee are best friends. That's great. Yeah. Second vice cars.
01:52:16
Raquel Baldelomar
You like cars?
Yeah. I have a soft spot for cars. Okay. Car models, Uhhuh,
, cars, everything. Cars. That's great. Yeah. And, um, I can't wait to buy all the cars that I want to have for no reason other than just look at them, just
01:52:28
Raquel Baldelomar
The van. Drive them. It's okay to just have the vanity and say, I want nice cars.
I love cars. And I would say the third one, they have to be three. Huh?
01:52:39
Raquel Baldelomar
It doesn't have to be three. But if you have like, otherwise you're perfect. You have no,
No, I'm not perfect. I'm far from No, no vices. I'm not per no
01:52:47
Raquel Baldelomar
. No, no vices. And you don't have, or you just don't wanna share it?
No, no, no. I, I just, I really don't have things that, like,
01:52:54
Raquel Baldelomar
You don't have things that you're like, God, this isn't really good for me, but you know what, I'm gonna do it because I love doing it. I, um, you know, drinking or I, you know, it's, uh, women or I, you know, it's maybe it's like I, you know, I have different, you know, whatever. I mean, it's, it's something that's not, it's like, that's not really healthy for
You. Can it be my obsession with my career?
01:53:22
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. Maybe that's what it is. That's an, that could be advice too. Yeah. If you recognize it as a vice, that's the key. You have to recognize it. It's a
Vice. It could perhaps. Yeah. I mean, I've lost a lot of things in the process of can in the name of I'm doing this for my career.
01:53:35
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. As long. If you can recognize that, that's a bit, it's a healthy vice for you. And as long as like this is the thing, it's, it's having this self-awareness. Like this is what, why I think it's the vices. Our important is that having the self-awareness to realize these things about yourself. Like whether it's like, you know what, like, you know what, I'm so obsessed with food. Is it really like the, you know, it's like makes me like maybe not the best person to, you know, if somebody who maybe doesn't care about food so much, but
I'm, oh, I'll tell you. Okay. Cleaning.
01:54:01
Raquel Baldelomar
You want it to be like your ultra clean or your I'm,
I, I waste so much time cleaning. I vacuumed. Really? And I mo my floors before coming here so that I could have a better interview. Really?
01:54:10
Raquel Baldelomar
Yes.
. Okay. Everyone that comes to my house goes, how many times do you do laundry? How many times do you clean everything?
01:54:16
Raquel Baldelomar
I think that's part of like, your obsessiveness a little bit. So
Maybe, yeah. That was a good answer. Cars, coffee and cleaning the three C's. I
01:54:23
Raquel Baldelomar
Love that. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. I cleaned too much.
01:54:26
Raquel Baldelomar
You clean too much. That's really,
01:54:29
Raquel Baldelomar
Cleaning. And why do you think that is? Is that, is it you just wanna have like, I like to things clean cuz I like feeling things are organized.
I like, I like to come home to a house that smells good. Mm-hmm.
and everything is positioned for my eyes to feel comfortable. Yeah. Life is chaotic outside the house. That can get crazy. I like to be, when things aren't crazy, I like to be in a very like, conducive environment that helps me feel at peace. And I feel at peace when things are in place. I agree. You know, I can totally agree, but I really, I think it's a vice. I think that we can Okay. Consider a serious vice. Okay.
01:55:05
Raquel Baldelomar
The cleaning. Yeah. Sods cleaning is a serious vice.
Serious advice. I'm telling you, I'm telling you, people have come over to my house, like friends that I haven't seen mm-hmm.
in years. They stay over and we're late to dinner because I have to put things away in a certain way. Mm-hmm. . And they're like, dude, we, we need to catch up my, like, let me fix my closet and then I can hear your conversation. It's crazy. No, I
01:55:25
Raquel Baldelomar
Think that's good. But I, it's, it's, it can be a vice if it's like, if it's, it's the obsessiveness of
Like, my fridge is really, looks like it's a grocery store. Really? Yeah. . So,
01:55:37
Raquel Baldelomar
Okay. What would you say, do you, is there a routine you do every single day that Yes. That brings you to that state of balance so that you can deal with the chaos of
The world? Yes. First thing I do when I wake up mm-hmm.
cup of coffee. Mm-hmm. , respect the coffee.
01:55:54
Raquel Baldelomar
Respect
The coffee. After the coffee. I journal anything that came to mind and dream everything, whatever. And then I pray and I do that every day at start my day. Wonderful. Period. And it,
01:56:06
Raquel Baldelomar
How long does that take?
It depends. Like, do I have other things to do? No,
01:56:10
Raquel Baldelomar
That's right. Like, it just approximately does that take the process of coffee, coffee's, fifteen minutes, journaling. Journaling and you know, coffee and journaling.
Coffee and journaling. I'd say together like 25, 30 minutes. Okay. Yeah. I give myself that time.
01:56:25
Raquel Baldelomar
So it's kind of like your own form of meditation in a way.
01:56:29
Raquel Baldelomar
Yeah. I think that's really important. That, and you really do that every, does it take longer time? Like if you're like on a weekend, maybe you, if you have like time, do you, do you journal longer?
No, I don't journal longer. I keep it to a page. When the page is done, I stop. Okay. And, um, sometimes I go over if it's a dream that I'm trying to figure out Uhhuh,
. But sometimes I reflect so it takes longer. Like I'll, I'll stop like when I'm done journaling, I'll just sit and think about what I journaled, what I think it means, and then yeah. And then I'll start my day. Okay.
01:57:02
Raquel Baldelomar
That's
01:57:04
Raquel Baldelomar
What does wealth mean to you?
Beautiful question. Wealth is going to bed every night thinking that everything I have done today is in line with my value system. And that if tonight is my last night on this earth, I'm leaving. No regrets. And I did everything that I wanted to do. That's my, that's
01:57:27
Raquel Baldelomar
A beautiful
Answer. Thank you. That's how I like to live.
01:57:30
Raquel Baldelomar
That's a beautiful answer. All right. My last main question is, if you could give one piece of life lesson or insight and put it up on a billboard for all these angelinas to see, Hmm. What would that be?
A gentleman once told me, clarity with your intention will determine your direction. That's the best advice I've ever
01:58:00
Raquel Baldelomar
Heard. Clarity with your intention will determine, determine your direction. So having real like crystal clarity with what you intend to do,
Who you are, what you want, how you're gonna get it.
01:58:12
Raquel Baldelomar
And that's gonna determine your direction.
Yeah. In everything, in relationships and friendship, in business, if you don't have a clear intention, you find yourself in situations. You, you're like, how do I end up here? Yeah. But when you have a clear intention and you have a value system, you know who you are, you're always gonna function from a true place and you're always gonna be able to at least head towards the direction you, you plan on getting to.
01:58:36
Raquel Baldelomar
I love that. Thank you. Clarity with your intention will determine your direction. Mm-hmm.
, that's a great, that's a great billboard sign.
01:58:43
Raquel Baldelomar
So thank you for being here. I really
Appreciate it.
Pleasure. You've been great. Where can people find you?
Everywhere? Everywhere Can find me. Everywhere In your heart, in your dreams. ? No. Um, social media. Saad R. Alessa. S A A D R A L E S S A. And then the same thing from my website. I perform at the Laugh Factory. So if you ever see me on a show, come on, say hello. Um, and um, yeah, I hope, I hope they find themselves, you know, and we'll, we'll meet in the end. You find yourself and we'll meet where people have found themselves meet.
01:59:17
Raquel Baldelomar
That's wonderful. Well, thank you. Thank you so much. My pleasure. And thank you all to, uh, for watching. Thank you to my fans. I love you. I love you all. If you liked this show, please click the like and subscribe button. It will help the YouTube overlords promote this episode, promote my channel, and get other people like you who are interested in balance watching, uh, to watch this. So thank you for everyone. Until next time.